Anita,

Thank you for the well thought out response, it’s really appreciated.

Regarding self-discovery, I’ve found that I enjoy being independent and alone and I fear being with someone who may jeopardize that. I have found that I love meeting connecting with new people. I have found that I love trying new things, traveling, reading, etc. In the past year my life has flipped upside down, but for the best. I have changed schools and received a scholarship for my academic achievements, made wonderful new friends and traveled more places than I ever have. I have distanced myself from many old friendships that no longer served me; not because of any falling out though we had simply grown apart. I moved out of my parents house and started paying for all my own bills. Overall, I think I have grown tremendously in the last year.

Regarding my love-interest, it is probably a mix between 2,3 & 6. There is obviously some underlying issues on his part, something that has made him feel the need to be overly close and obsessive – I have never had someone be so persistent with me, and part of me wonders why. Does he really care about me that I am worth the chase? (figuratively, not in the car… bad joke.) Maybe the fact that I feel numb and everything with him is so over the top and dramatic is appealing, even if it is hurting me. I never know what I am going to get with him. Most of all, I think I do deserve the treatment. Though I never gave him a reason to treat me this way, I think I set enough boundaries that maybe that startled him or gave him the wrong idea. Maybe I was unclear as to what I wanted or wasn’t confident enough to stand up for myself so he thought it was okay to treat me the way he did. Partially, I feel like I should have tried harder, but then at the same time, this was only a very VERY short period of time. It shouldn’t have been so complicated so early, right? My mom was emotionally abusive; I am an only child who still sees a therapist to process her and I’s relationship. Though it is not diagnosed, I believe my mom is a narcissist; she ignored me when she was mad at me and would isolate and alienate me for days. Her punishments were extreme and humiliating, for example, once I was dancing on the coffee table and broke it (I was probably 11-12ish) and she was so mad that she grounded me from the furniture. This entailed me sleeping on the floor and sitting in a laundry basket with a blanket while my friends were over. My mom took huge pride in her punishments of me and would often tell my friends, their parents, my teachers, etc. about them. I often felt belittled and humiliated by her treatment. She ignores me behind closed doors but talks about me endlessly in public – it is very difficult for me to process and something I still struggle with.