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Feeling Guilt & Shame

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  • #405206
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear arabella:

    So you are not at all worried that any of the wedding guests will tell your boyfriend or mention it in his presence that you and your ex were having so much fun together? I mean, your boyfriend knows about your ex, and that you spent time with him during the  wedding, does he?

    And about having wanted to tell your ex your truth, and freeing yourself from this truth during the wedding and/ or during texting later that night, the truth was that your sex life with him was irreplaceable?

    You wrote earlier today regarding your ex:  “I don’t think I’ll ever have that kind of feeling with anyone else again“, and in your most recent post, you wrote regarding your ex: “I don’t think I have ‘special feelings’ towards him that I don’t have towards my now boyfriend“. Do you see a contradiction here?

    anita

    #405207
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Arabella

    It sounds like you have serious concerns about how this revelation would impact your relationship. In this case, protecting the relationship may be the sensible choice. This decision is yours alone and ultimately, it is you who knows best how to manage your life.

    Do you have any uncomfortable thoughts that accompany the feelings of guilt and shame? You don’t have to divulge them, but when you are feeling calmer it might be a good idea to address those thoughts with self-compassion. In the meantime, ruminating on this subject isn’t going to resolve this issue. Please take care of yourself, practice self-care, eat, and rest. Forgiveness starts and ends with not beating yourself up over it. It can be a journey.

Viewing 2 posts - 16 through 17 (of 17 total)

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