Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Feeling confused
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November 26, 2017 at 2:07 pm #179503
bwaleParticipantWhere to start, so last year i matched with this guy on tinder I’ll call him Joe. So he lives in another continent so we talked for a bit and stopped, then in April he was back in my city so he hit me up again we talked and we finally met up. We clicked well and even travelled together to another country for a few days . Then he went back and we continued talking and he was working in another country and I went to see him as it was just a 4 hour flight away. I was there for a few days in June. So we haven’t seen each other since then but we try to keep in touch every day but it’s usually just hi and bye and share pictures and all. I feel like we have nothing else to talk about, we have never discussed what we are or put a title to it. But I do like him though I feel like I’m wasting my time because he is still active on tinder and so I’m I. I’ve deleted most of his pictures in the quest of moving on, but I’m a little hopeful maybe something good may develop but deep down I know I should start to let go. It’s so confusing and heart breaking ?
November 27, 2017 at 6:14 am #179545
AnonymousGuestDear bwale:
I was wondering if you are still living with your parents and if your father still shouts at you, if you still teach ballet (without your disapproving father’s knowledge), if you still work at the gym… if you ever returned to formal education (public health I believe it was)?
anita
November 27, 2017 at 7:28 am #179549
ElianaParticipantHi bwale,
I unfortunately, have been in many long distance online relationships. Many of these men, I met on Social media sites such as Google plus, Facebook, etc. Many of them, I developed a very special bonding with..we would talk for hours on video chat such as messenger, Hangouts, and other platforms. Many times, there were long pauses when we would write back and forth. I knew he was writing to other women. It’s extremely difficult to make a long distance online relationship work. Many of the men I talked to were from different continents, states, etc.
Some of these men ended up being very dishonest, finally asking for money, or an arranged marriage, or on other dating sites, catohishing, you never know who you are really talking too with someone online. It’s too complicated, too much doubt and insincerity on their part. Too many games. Too many flirty emoticons being sent to other women behind my back. Best bet, meet someone local. Or a reputable dating site. Not tinder. x
November 27, 2017 at 2:17 pm #179611bwaleParticipantHi Anita, I’m still teaching ballet my dad said as long as it makes you happy but I know he definitely is still not happy. I stopped working at the gym and focused on ballet. I started studying nutrition and food science part time but my father is still not happy with me, probably will never be I guess.
November 27, 2017 at 2:21 pm #179613bwaleParticipantHi Eliana, i guess you’re right I should probably start meeting local people. I’m not so social and maybe I have esteem issues. Sometimes I just feel better talking to guys far away and therefore find myself in such situations. But I guess it’s time to make a change.?
November 28, 2017 at 5:22 am #179685AnonymousGuestDear bwale:
You wrote regarding Joe: “I’m a little hopeful maybe something good may develop”- but nothing good has been developing. My thought: better live more purposefully in everything you do. Instead of hoping that something will happen, attempt to make it happen. If it is not happening then abandon it. Set goals and move purposefully toward achieving them, one goal at a time, perhaps. No longer living with a disapproving father may be a worthy goal.
anita
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