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  • #57815
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Well, human sexuality is kind of complex. Or in a way, I suppose it should be rather simple, but we make it very complex. Just like eating. We all need to eat, it is a very basic physiological need, but then we turn it into something difficult. Just like people have eating disorders, people have difficulties handling their sexuality.

    I used to have problems combining sexual attraction and love. I think part of it was this self-hatred that I had. I’m not sure. I still have healing to do in that department, but clearly I have been able to combine love and sex now. The difference between then and now is that I actually appreciate myself and have love in me.

    I’m very liberal when it comes to people’s sexuality, so if someone truly thinks that they are happiest engaging in what ever they are engaging in, then go for it. I would say though, that before engaging in anything, one should be content with themselves, be able to feel empathy and compassion (towards themselves and others) and have a healthy emotional mindset. There are so many people who try to fix their emotional wounds through sex (or food), and it’s quite sad, because it’s not going to fix things. In worst case, it will create more wounds and destroy the person even further.

    So, if I were you, I wouldn’t necessarily draw any conclusions about your sexuality before you have truly worked on yourself. I remember your posts, and I think you might have a lot of “symptoms” stemming from the same root cause. Have you tried any meditation practice to start healing from within?

    #57847
    Shellie
    Participant

    Hi Cyd, it sounds like you have a clear understanding of your feelings thus far. My question is, have you accepted the way you feel? I too believe that sexuality is much more complex than definitions would allow us to assume. I would say the first thing you should do is really understand your feelings and what you want. You say that you one day see yourself with a wife. Is this because you want all the things a wife entails or do you want to do it because it’s expected of you?

    I questioned my feelings about things before, and I realized that the only reason I questioned myself is because I wasn’t sure if I would be accepted by others.

    I hope one day you will find someone that you are attracted to physically and emotionally. But first you have to dig deeper within yourself and understand what it is that you want.

    In the meantime, take time to understand yourself and try to be honest to those that you will be emotionally or physically involved with.

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