Dear B:

Sounds like a decent guy from your description. I don’t think you have enough information so to evaluate his previous relationship and draw conclusions from it. I think that your terms of attachment types may be doing you some disservice since people are often not this type or that type. A relationship between two people affords many variations to be considered. I would stick to basics of human behavior: People do not want to get attached and then rejected, as simple as that. You don’t want to get hurt, this is your main motivation.

If I was you, i will use this opportunity to learn more about myself and about him. i would get curious more than anxious, focus on learning instead of expanding in hopes for love and contracting in fear of rejection.

It is not easy, but if you re-focus on learning, again and again, this may very well be a good opportunity for you!

anita

Dear B:

I am learning in my Healing Path, as I call it, that fear will always be there. Oh, do I wish I could do away with it! Do I wish I could live without fear. I don’t think it is possible.

I am thinking, this strength you mentioned in your post above, the “strength under (the) fear” is what healing is all about. Being afraid and strong at the same time.

So not all in vain.

anita