Hi Deborah,

Up until about six months ago I had the exact same issues as you. Watching my food, sanitising my hands till they where red raw, avoiding certain situations and waking up every time someone in the house went to the loo at night in a blind panic.

I tried all sorts of therapy from hypnosis to CBT and even EFT tapping (which I know has worked for some as Julie has said). But I needed more than that, I needed to know why and how.

I went to see a Thrive specialist in my area (UK) and he helped me understand is isn’t a fear of being sick (although all fear is simply in your head and not outside it) but it is a conjured fear of the uncontrollable situation that you don’t like. I’ll bet any time you have been sick before, afterwards the ordeal you’re more of less giddy? That’s because it’s no longer an issue for a while, until you let your thoughts come in (every day as you say) making it into a fear again?

I would recommend working through a Thrive programme (Rob Kelly – Amazon) he even has a special book for emeotophobics. Remember though that it’s not the act of someone throwing up that’s the issue here, and it’s not the food you eat or the places you may or may not go, it’s your own control of your own thoughts. Which you are very capable of managing.

If you want to discuss further I’m happy to help. I know what a crippling thing this can be left un-turned.

Jo

Thanks everyone for your wonderful insights.

Hi Deborah

I am sorry for your suffering. I will provide a different and detailed perspective here (mostly spiritual), which may or may not resonate with you at this stage. Feel free to come back to it in a few days time when you are in a more positive frame of mind. I sensed a state of desperation from your words, which can often hinder any potential progress when it comes to dealing with fears or negative thought patterns. I am glad that you have embraced mindfulness 🙂

We, human beings, are made up of energy and inter connected to everything and everyone at an universal level. We are immensely powerful and can achieve anything on this planet. According to science as well, our cells are composed of atoms, which provide the electrical and magnetic charge and they are all vibrating at differing frequencies.

When we have fears or phobias, we are vibrating at a predominantly negative frequency. Like energy attracts like. The more power you give to negative energy, stronger it becomes. The more power you give to positive energy and more powerful it becomes. Positivity brings us into a state of bliss and contentment and keeps us close to our higher self. Negative energy brings us into a state of desperation, unhappiness, guilt, fear and anything, which takes our power away. All of us need a balance of these energies to keep us functioning well during our temporary existence on this planet just like the nature. Everything is nicely balanced in the nature and occurring in its own rhythm as long as the humans do not intervene or disturb this balance.

What determines as to what frequency we will vibrate at ? Everything that gives rise to our thoughts determines our vibrating frequency. Our thoughts make us who we are. Thought is also an energy. When we see a sad news, we create thoughts which are predominantly sad and fearful. These thoughts produce a feeling and emotion and we start acting out according to our emotions. For example: we may cry, we may become recluse, we may lose concentration at work etc. Not everyone reacts the same way. Some are not affected by any sad or bad news.

Repeated thoughts or routine thoughts form a neuro pathway in our sub conscious brain and become our belief system. For example – repeated thoughts that tell us that we are not good enough lead to a semi- permanent belief system – I am not good enough or No one loves or cares about me. When these belief systems become part of our daily living, they create constant such feelings and emotions and help us to form our personality. Our personality helps us to act out in a certain way and often on an auto pilot. We start behaving as if no one loves us and often lack happiness, peace and contentment in our interactions with others. We are also constantly bombarded with situations, which keep confirming the same that we are not good enough.

So where do these belief systems or repeated thoughts take birth ? Often during our childhood or when our system goes through an immense shock or a state of disbelief. A state where we have no control over our feelings or emotions. If our parents repeatedly tell us that we are going to be alone or miserable in the future, you will be surprised at how often this will come true. Our belief systems become our self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the reason why some people are so prosperous and successful in life, while the rest continue to struggle with even simple things in life. It all depends on our recurrent thoughts or belief system.

In your case, you have a semi-permanent belief system etched in your sub conscious about sickness. So your body starts to act out on an auto pilot when such a trigger occurs. Unfortunately, the more times you act out on an auto-pilot, the stronger this belief system will become. In my personal experience, there is often an initial trigger, which leads to these uncontrollable fears or phobias. Can you recall the first time you developed these symptoms or if anything happened in the 6-12 months prior to these symptoms (that left your system in a state of shock or disbelief in terms of emotions) ? If you can recall that incident, half your work will be done as you will be able to send some positive energy to that incident and forgive yourself for being in pain for this long. Keep doing it until that incident doesn’t invoke any negativity in your being.

Now coming back to the energy part – every time you develop these symptoms or go into a panic mode when someone around you is sick, you send out a negative energy. I am not too worried about anyone else except for your kids who are receiving this energy on a routine basis. Can you imagine what impact this will have on them ? Unknowingly and unwillingly, they are soaking this energy. This energy will help create negative thoughts in their little minds, which in turn will create limiting belief system for these kids in the near future. You are helping to create their personality for them unconsciously. Can you see the connection ? Many times, we do things without understanding their consequences or effects. This is what our parents may have done for us but hey no one knew better at that time. Now that we are aware of such a connection, we should be more mindful and practice conscious living.

Whats the worst that can happen if you get sick ? You will be sick, you may be bed ridden or may need to go to hospital. In the worst case scenario, you may develop a disability or even die. Those are potential things that may or may not happen. However, your constant juggle with an over active and fearful mind is causing you problems every second in your life and is also impacting on the people around you. Is it worth it ?

What you need to do is to work on your thoughts and become aware of them. Become like a video camera, which records a film but doesn’t do anything else. It just watches the film without asking yeh or neh questions. We are very much like that. Our world around us is like a film that we have been engaged in watching thanks to some super power who has created this universe.The moment we start to interfere or speculate, we get into trouble. Have faith in the super power to look after you and your needs. Life could have been much worse living in another part of the world but the Universal power (YOU) didn’t choose that for your being. Why are you then making such a poor choice for yourself and others ? Only you can let go of your fears or poor choices. No one else can do this for you. There are various tools that may assist you in this process such as EFT, energy healing, acupuncture, reiki, chakra healing, hypnotherapy, CBT etc.

I would like to suggest the following:
– if you are bound by anxiety most of the day then I suggest that you see a local dr and see if you will benefit from an anti anxiety med. Many times when we are constantly in a negative or fearful state of mind, it creates a chemical imbalance in the brain and these meds help to sort that out. They do not cure the problem or get rid of fears or phobias. You still need to work on your thoughts for that.
– Susan Jeffers (who has left the body) has done an excellent recording of positive self-affirmations on a CD that you can purchase. When you listen to this short recording every day for atleast 21 days, you will start to see a positive difference in your mindset. Her voice produces powerful positive vibrations and you will benefit from that. The name of the CD is called – inner talk for a confident day.
– Meditation : helps to charge our batteries. The world around us constantly interacts with our energies and we become depleted very quickly. Just like any phone. If you keep using the phone without charging, you know what happens. The you tube below is quite useful for balancing root chakra – which often holds a lot of fears and phobias. You can trial all the individual chakra meditation through the same you tube channel but start first with root, followed by 2nd to 7th chakras, they move upwards. Emile has done the meditations individually, which is great. You dont need to do anything else except for close your eyes and instruct the divinity (universal power) to bring white light to these chakras. Over few days, you will feel a new positive change in yourself.

– pls forgive yourself every morning for all the pain that you may have caused unknowingly or knowingly. When you do this, you will be more mindful the rest of the day.

Sending you heaps of positive energy and I know you will be fine very soon. Looking forward to hearing your happy news in the near future 🙂

Jasmine

@jasmine-3

Hi Deborah @debs78

I am glad that some of my suggestions resonated with your being. I had to meditate a little on what you wrote in your last post.

When you say that you didn’t grieve when grandma passed away suddenly, is that in a good way or sad way ? Do you think your heart was crying and still is but your logic mind prevents you from going through the grieving process ? And the prolonged sickness, which led to current phobias suggest that you had a conflict between your inner and outer being for quite sometime over something. Can you make sense of this ? Are you trying to be someone whom you are not ? Are you constantly killing your desires and have been doing it for sometime ? Either way, I can assure you that your grandma is around and watching over you and your loved ones. I think she wants you to be happy and become stronger and enjoy life. She is happy in her own existence and wishes the same for you. I have offered prayers for her on your behalf 🙂

If the root chakra you tube meditation resonates with you then can you also try the heart chakra one (4th). Fill yourself with heaps of love and be in love with yourself. There is no one more special than Deborah in this world as you are one and only one.

May you find what your heart is seeking and emerge stronger and brighter each day 🙂 love to your beautiful kids.

Jasmine