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Expecting too much?

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  • This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • #175951
    Emily K
    Participant

    I’ve posted on here previously but things have been going great in my relationship. I’m dating a man and it’s long distance. We’re about a 4 hour plane ride away from one another. However, we knew what we were getting into from the get-go. He is an amazing person, and although we met at unexpected times in both of our lives, he’s who I want to be with and I know he feels the same.

    He just visited me and met my family, and I saw him about a month and a half (almost two months) before that in his hometown. Things in his life he’s said (and I know it’s true) are very ‘crazy’ and up in the air right now (career, family stuff, etc.) and I have accepted this. The only thing is that this leads him to be a bit scrambled and last minute with things, and I often feel anxious over this considering I am the opposite and love to have set plans, and some sense of solidity.

    We had said we wanted to try to see each other at least once a month but I am starting to wonder if it’s realistic for him. He is the one who takes care of costs etc. (he’s older, and I am not in a place to be, which he’s previously understood) so sometimes I feel as if I have no power in how often we see each other. I should perhaps lower my expectations since he is the one taking care of me, but I just wish he would try to make more consistent plans so I have some sense of security in knowing the next time I’ll see him.

    I don’t know if I should just try and not expect such solid plans and perhaps loosen up a little or whether I should expect more effort.

     

    #176013
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Emily K:

    You wrote: “Things in his life he’s said (and I know it’s true) are very ‘crazy’ and up in the air right now(career, family stuff, etc.) and I have accepted this”- if you accepted that as true, then you are “Expecting too much” of him when you expect him to function as if his life was not crazy and up in the air right now.

    anita

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