Dear  grounded:

On the other thread you wrote that you broke up because neither one of you was happy in the relationship. Do you want to elaborate on that? I ask because it  is relevant to your questions on this thread.

anita

Dear grounded:

If  you aim at being grounded in reality (your name here), then my answer to “what if he says no I don’t want to be exclusive? Do  I walk away?”- yes. Because you don’t want to be an  option for him, you want to be the chosen one, the one he chooses.

“Do we stay friends?”- no, because from what you shared, this will not be comfortable for you.

“Is  it over forever?”- likely. Most relationships do end before “death do us apart”, most often way, way before.

“What if he says yes” – then ask him what he figured out that led  him to choose you (“he is ‘figuring stuff out’… he wasn’t happy.. he was pulling away to figure things out”).

It doesn’t read to me that he is willing to have an exclusive relationship with you because  he was unhappy in the relationship with you from one point on and  is happier now,  after the breakup: “he  is open and more giving than he was before”.

Reads like he likes you, is attracted to you but is excited about the idea that he can  date  other women as well, and is not committed to you.

This is a difficult time  for you, I understand, because you love him so much.  It is difficult to wait for his answer, but it has  been difficult for a while, ever since he tried  to get  out of the relationship, hasn’t it?

anita