Home→Forums→Relationships→Ex recently broke no contact
- This topic has 21 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by
LiamJames.
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October 23, 2019 at 1:47 pm #319343
LiamJamesParticipantMy ex attempted to call me about a month ago. Although I have blocked her, the number still showed up in my call logs. She called 3 times in a row with not even one minute between each call. They all happened at 6:15 on a Saturday evening. The 4 year relationship has been over for 5 months and there are no belongings left to return or ask for. Basically no reason we need to talk or discuss anything.
This makes me wonder if she is missing me (does she?) or if she really needed me for something important. It’s very difficult not to contact her in return…but I know I just cant…for my own well being. Speaking to her would set me back and i cant allow that.
October 23, 2019 at 1:58 pm #319347
AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
Remember the 10 elephants in the room. This series of three calls in a row on a Saturday afternoon may be an elephant trunk making its elephant noise, that is all.
anita
October 23, 2019 at 2:34 pm #319359LiamJamesParticipantHi Anita,
Do you think it means she misses me perhaps? Somehow I think it would help to know that she misses me even a modicum of how much I miss her.
October 23, 2019 at 2:47 pm #319365LiamJamesParticipantI suppose I should note that she has actually broken no contact every month we’ve been apart…more than once in each month except August and October. We split in late May. I stayed in contact with her for the first month we split. She relentlessly tried to reconcile more than once. Several I miss you texts and a few frantic phone calls. I wound up blocking her because it was triggering too much within me and I needed to protect myself.
October 23, 2019 at 3:57 pm #319371AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
Reads like she does miss you and maybe wants to reconcile. You sounded quite certain in the past that it is a bad idea to reconcile, big elephants and all. No?
(I will be away from the computer for a couple of hours).
anita
October 23, 2019 at 4:00 pm #319373AnonymousGuest* didn’t reflect under Topics
October 23, 2019 at 5:55 pm #319383LiamJamesParticipantYes Anita you are correct in that i don’t wish to reconcile. I do miss her regardless. Remember how I talked about not being able to remember the bad times and can only remember the good? I still have that going on from time to time.
October 23, 2019 at 6:31 pm #319385AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
Yes, I did forget you remembering the good and forgetting the bad, and now that you reminded me, you remember it yourself, the bad, that is.
Here is the beautiful poem you wrote last month:
“I am where I am
It is what it is
There is nothing to fixBe here now
In the moment at hand
Let the past rest
It is a fantasyBreathe in life
As deeply as I can
There is no need to rush
Gods planI survived all this time
And i will continue
With or without youIt is what it is
I am where I am
There is nothing to fix…Trust in Gods plan”
“There is nothing to fix”, you wrote. “Let the past rest, it is a fantasy”- Amen.
anita
October 23, 2019 at 6:54 pm #319393LiamJamesParticipantAt this point I just wish for her happiness above all. As difficult as it has been to let go…all I have left within me is this kind wish. I love her and her happiness has always been paramount above all else.
October 23, 2019 at 7:06 pm #319395AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
This is a good thing, that all you have left within you is this kind wish, wishing her to be happy. And you do wish yourself the same, don’t you, to be happy without her in your life?
anita
October 24, 2019 at 8:09 am #319483LiamJamesParticipantAbsolutely Anita. I wish to happy again without her more than anything. Its just going to take more time. She still consumes my thoughts often, but it’s getting better slowly, but surely.
October 24, 2019 at 8:25 am #319491AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
“getting better slowly, but surely” is way better than not getting better at all. I do remember that you wrote before that you cannot think of being with another woman yet. I would say though that if you dated some, if you went out more and socialized, it would speed up the getting better part. If you want to speed it up, that is.
anita
October 24, 2019 at 8:55 am #319499LiamJamesParticipantI do go out and socialize often. I’m also a very active musician and well respected by my local community. I have lots going on to distract me. I know for certain I am not cool with entering into a rebound relationship. It’s just not my style and don’t feel it would be fair to myself or the poor person who would be no more than a bandaid serving some selfish need i have to get over my ex. Need to date myself for awhile. I am however meeting a lot of new friends and enjoying spending time on my own
October 24, 2019 at 9:28 am #319507AnonymousGuestDear LiamJames:
Better indeed not enter a relationship with a woman who will be like “a bandaid serving some selfish need”! My goodness, that would be awful for the woman and very selfish of you. I am glad you are not that way.
Good thing you do socialize and play music for songs you write so well yourself!
A reminder of what you wrote last month about your ex: “She wasn’t the right person for me and there is someone better for me out there… this is my new mantra”.
anita
October 24, 2019 at 9:44 am #319509LiamJamesParticipantThank you Anita for that friendly reminder. It is the truth and I need to stay connected to truth and let the fantasy go. It’s just so difficult at times. I imagine us cooking together, playing music, grocery shopping, making love etc…i replay the past in my mind far too often. What a journey this has been. It’s so up and down
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