I can understand how you feel – breakups are very difficult and there realy isn’t a way out of that but time. Cliche I know but so true. In the meantime, worrying about what she may or may not do will only make things worse and causes misery. The thoughts in your head are just that, thoughts – they aren’t based on reality but merely a story your telling yourself and I know the pain of breakup makes those stories incessant and un-ending but you’ve got to make a shift in how you think about those stories in your head. Might be hard right now but just watch them for what they are and say – “wow, I’m really making up lots of scenarios in my head and this isn’t helping any.”

I can tell you from experience that needing to find out what’s going on in her head or what she’s doing will send you down a road of pain and the only one doing it is you – she can’t say anything to make you feel any better, even if you think she can or even if she did your mind would likely not be satisfied and turn to another story – and then we’re back to just more stories.

Easier said than done but, if you two are broken up then let it be a break up. When the sadness about that comes up just notice it and say, “yep, this is sad but it won’t always be this way.” You have to keep doing that over and over and eventually you realize that the times between when you feel sad are getting longer and longer. Sadness may turn to anger or blame or quilt or whatever but it’s all part of it. Don’t get stuck in the trap of thinking you were lied to our used, most people are not doing these things to us that we imagine – they are just being who they are from a perspective of how they see things, it’s not personal although it may seem so. Bottom-line, don’t worry about her – just do what you need to (outside of anything to do with her – no calls, no texts, no “just let me ask one thing”). Do what you would do without her being around or in the picture.

When it’s new and fresh this will all seem terribly difficult and that’s OK – it is – but, like I said, it won’t always be this way. Sorry for the spot you’re in but, you really will be OK!

Hi Kal,

I extend my sympathy/feelings for what you’re being through.
There are many people in this world and sometimes in our life, whom we fail to understand. Especially when it comes to relationships and why a partner cheats on the other one.

I have experienced that it’s not worth to break our heads and precious time to ponder over it and be stuck. For? Nothing! We just need to take a stand for where we want to head. Plan and tread the path you would want for yourself.

You’re a special and unique person in this world. Move on! Also,from your post it seems the relation wasn’t for so long.

Wishing you courage and positivity…:-)