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Ex contacting on Valentine's Day! Should I relpy?

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  • February 13, 2014 at 10:46 pm #50978
    Anyone
    Participant

    Also something that I have wanted to understand since quite sometime now….. why do people say ‘I love you’ and then cheat on the back of the person? Even when confronted, ex-husband never admitted to his cheats nor he said it won’t happen again. Same was with ex-lesbian partner. I caught her red-handed her colleagues pinging her to go for a date; and she says it was for other friend!!! Many other girls falling for her!, for sure there was something she was giving them…!?

    I have had times where I felt lost because of it, cried, lost hopes, and again pulled up my socks to be on my own…..
    These things make me crazy and I feel like it’s better to be single rather than breaking my head on knowing the truth and be with aching heart!

    February 14, 2014 at 1:10 am #50983
    Karin
    Participant

    Hi Anyone,

    I don’t think you have to feel guilty about not picking up a midnight phone call from your ex, rather I think it’s good for you that you didn’t. You were respectful of your own boundaries.

    Maybe you can tell her what you told us. Speak from your heart, tell her how this makes you feel, what it does to you. Ask her for what you’d like to have from her – what is that? Peace? Respect? Space?

    I don’t really know what to say about people cheating on other people… I don’t really understand that either. What I do know is that you are strong enough to move on. Take care of yourself, give yourself what you’d like to receive from another.

    There is nothing wrong with being single, I’ve enjoyed it for a long time, but don’t close your heart for others. Stay open, with respect for your own boundaries of course.

    Good luck Anyone 🙂

    February 14, 2014 at 1:41 am #50984
    Anyone
    Participant

    Hi Karin,

    Thanks for your reply. It gives me more strength to read ‘there is nothing wrong with being single’…:-) and yeah; it makes me realize I’m on the way to have/gain self-respect! #boostsmymorale.

    Well, earlier I have tried being upfront; but I got manipulation in return; I can’t express how much this manipulation has affected me; I’m doubting every person I meet (and I ask myself..’Is he/she trying to have something out of it?’..I know I got to stop this. But with the ex; I hope she will understand me being straight-forward at least this time; as now I’m with my eyes open and I will be ‘replying’ to it; and not just take anything that comes my way!

    Thanks a lot for reading and taking out time to reply…

    Cheers!

    February 14, 2014 at 4:38 am #50988
    Anyone
    Participant

    As expected, my ex lesbian partner sent an email with subject ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ and ‘Thanks’ in the body of the email.

    My mind is working in many directions; don’t know if it’s a positive thanks or a sarcastic one (that I’m not there for her)…..

    Pheeewww…

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