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Ex and I are communicating indirectly… Hard to let go

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • October 24, 2016 at 8:00 am #118803
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    So what you are saying is that your ex boyfriend is indirectly communicating to you that he is still feeling in love with you.

    But for what purpose? Is he interested, do you think, in re-establishing a relationship with you in the future, when the timing is right?

    anita

    October 24, 2016 at 9:07 am #118812
    sadpeach
    Participant

    Anita,

    Yes, that is exactly what I think is going on. When we broke up we had a long talk and a lot of it was about that. He said things about me moving up to the north east so that maybe we could be together one day — yet not specifically Boston where he lives — it’s like he wants me close enough to keep me but didn’t want me to ACTUALLY relocate with him (which I would have done) because that provides too much pressure. He has commitment issues from his childhood.

    October 24, 2016 at 9:52 am #118819
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    In your original post you wrote: “It’s hard, because I know we’re so in love with each other and timing of life is keeping us apart.” According to your last post though, it is not a matter of timing. According to your last post, “he has commitment issues from his childhood” and as such, unless he heals from those issues, he is likely to continue to resist commitment throughout his life, in one way or another.

    He wants you close to Boston but not in Boston where he lives. Makes me wonder about the words of the songs he Likes, if the lyrics to those songs are about having the one you are in love with living on her own, away from the guy, but close enough to just visit, or something like that?

    anita

    October 24, 2016 at 11:52 am #118832
    sadpeach
    Participant

    Anita, it’s sort of a mix between both of those issues. They aren’t mutually exclusive. I think part of the commitment issues and immaturity stem from timing of his life being a factor if that makes sense. We need time in life to work out our issues, some things don’t make sense yet. However, it is also timing in a more literal and shallow sense with him starting school, etc.

    The lyrics are varied. They are all sorts of things about break ups and loving a special girl and losing her, not seeing what they had before they lost her, etc.

    October 24, 2016 at 12:52 pm #118836
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Tessa:

    It is my experience that childhood issues, that is, connections made in our Formative Years, do not have an expiration date. It really takes healing, or re-wiring of the brain to change deep held beliefs and overcome deep rooted fears. Timing does play a role in life, of course, but those issues of childhood, IF they are significant enough, felt deeply enough and for long enough, they survive the events and years of our lives surprisingly unchanged.

    anita

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