Sally,

I know that sometimes feelings of anger, resentment, and hatred can be overwhelming, but I think it’s important for you to remember that in the long run, these feelings will only hurt you, not your ex-husband. If you let the feelings take over and do something that can’t be undone, then he ultimately wins, and you will lose your children. It sounds to me like you love those kids very much and have been a good mother to them. Don’t let him take that away from you. Call on your family, your friends…anyone who can act as a support system for you. Let them help you pick yourself up and keep going for the sake of you children. Don’t let someone else’s actions control your life. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. Show this man that you’re above his lies and manipulations. Be indifferent toward him. Find peace in the people in your life who love you and matter to you. I’m sending you positive thoughts and warm wishes. You can pull yourself out of this. You can be the bigger person. You already are, and will continue to be as long as you don’t let your ex-husband get to you. Keep in mind that he’s trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t give him what he wants. He doesn’t deserve it.

I think your rage outburst was natural, understandable and – if you let it be – will be incredibly healing.

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” – Maya Angelou

Rage if you need to. Get your closest friends and have a full-on bitchfest about what an utterly inadequate human being he is. Or write it all out on a forum, or a diary. At some point, it’ll turn to laughter and tears and you’ll be well on your way 🙂 Do try to lay off the drinking alone though, and don’t allow a single seed of doubt about yourself to be planted in your mind by him. It’s easy to feel that way when you’re feeling low about the breakup, but you sound perfectly sane to me. There’s a time to be tranquil and rise above it all, and there’s a time to throw your toys out of the pram a bit. It’ll pass, I promise 🙂