Hello!

I introduce myself: 46 year old woman. I discovered this site last year when I was experiencing a difficult romantic breakup. A six-year LDR which I had to put an end to because my spouse could no longer communicate and had taken a distance which no longer allowed us to move forward together. He was experiencing undiagnosed health problems. He didn’t even want me to go to his house anymore. I made the heartbreaking decision to write him a breakup letter … to which he never replied. Then I proposed that we meet a few months later, he was open to it but advised me that he had met someone … I was devastated and choose not to have this meeting. I have done several readings here which have helped me.

A few weeks later, I reached out a man I once knew 15 years ago and for whom I had developed feelings. At the time, he told me that he felt more like a friendship, which we pursued, but overnight, I never heard from him again … I never knew the reason. In short, in December 2019 we started to communicate by Messenger again. Everything was magic: we had common interests, surprising connections, similar values. When we saw each other, we really enjoyed ourselves. We started to see each other frequently. He told me that he had completed his transition from his last relationship (ended in summer of 2019). On my side, I knew that I had some issues to address but I was advancing.  However, I pointed out to him that I felt he was fragile when he spoke of his ex but he said he was ok and had discussed it with his therapist. He told me he felt good with me, that I matched everything he wanted. I told him that I was a fairly calm person who liked to take her time in relationships (which was the opposite of her ex). He said he was delighted by this because he saw that intense relationships did not work for him … In short, we started to see each other frequently, we spent whole weekends together. Then, in early March, one afternoon, he changed his attitude completely, I did not understand, he explained to me that he had seen photos of his ex on Facebook who was with a new man. He was devastated. I accompanied him that evening, and several times thereafter, I accepted his grief, left him space to live all of it but just before confinement, we opened up on the subject and he said he was all mixed up. We spent the whole day in bed chatting, crying, kissing, caressing … he then said he was interested in continuing and said he was attracted to me. After that evening, he wrote to me every day that followed for several weeks. He always took my news, sent me things that interested me, asked me lots of questions … And then two weeks ago, he became cold and distant. I questioned: he said he was troubled by the pandemic, his children, his work, etc. We met after and I asked more questions and there he told me that he had lost momentum and interest in continuing … After this meeting, I wrote him an email to explain to him how I felt. We talked a bit on Messenger but on banalities and he never came back on this email … I feel abandoned again, as if there was not enough consideration for me to at least attest to having read my message … indifference, after having experienced that kind of intensity from the start, I don’t understand it …And how can someone changed his views while we couldn’t see each other during the lockdown! Of course, it was more dull but we had each other to talk about all the challenges of the pandemic situation! And I was hoping, after all of it, we could see each other again and see what’s happening in a more normal context…I feel I didn’t act correctly…Maybe I should have disappear of his life when he mentioned being troubled by his ex’s photos? But, am an empathic person and I wanted to be there for him and for what we were building together…Seems I was the only one in that…It’s so difficult. I just feel like writing to him to tell him that could have at least told me that he received my email, saying something like “thank for sharing your toughts, I don’t think I need to say more but I understand your point of view and I respect you.” Why some people are not able to do that?!?

Thank you!