Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what is wrong with him. Take this as a blessing, even though I know it’s hard to see the sun through all the clouds… You are deserving of a much deeper love and connection. As much as we crave closer, some times it doesn’t help, and at the end of the day, what can he possibly say to make you feel better? Look deep within yourself and love yourself. KNOW, you are strong enough to get through this and not go back to someone who was not deserving of you and the love you give. Chances are, if he is a sociopath, it wont matter if you tell him how he’s made you feel, they don’t take accountability for how they make others feel. Don’t give him that much power over you and your feelings.

Get back to you. Find out what makes you happy, meditate, concentrate on the positive things in life, surround yourself with those who do truly love you. YOU are worthy of so much more.

light & love.
<3

Dear Butterfly:

Why respond to his: “don’t bother to reply, I don’t care that much” text? His text is not an honest, respectful invitation to communicate. On its surface it looks like a non invitation but as it affected you so far, it seems like his text worked as an invitation to communicate because you are considering responding.

Maybe that was his intention, to tell you “don’t bother to reply” so to motivate you to reply.

Want to reward his dishonesty and manipulation as I think is in his texting you? This is an invitation to get on the rollercoaster.

Do block him and get out of the theme park I mentioned earlier, this is my advice.

anita

Dear Butterfly:

You are welcome. I wish you got a refund (good point!) I wish we all got refunds when injustice happens to us, as is so often the case.

Excellent point in wishing you could get a refund. I suppose there is an attachment you have to the fact that you already invested so much in him and it is hard to move away with nothing to show for all your caring and investment, is it so for you?

Let’s say you are literally in a theme park and the single rollercoaster ride there made you sick 100 times in a row. Each time you feel dizzy and you vomit. But you stay in the park because you didn’t get your money value yet. You are waiting for the ride to be enjoyable so you can justify the $20 spent for entry fee.

There is no refund, unfortunately, so do you stay in the park, getting on the ride yet again in hope that this time you will not get sick?

Or cut your losses and prevent more loss by… leaving.

anita

Dear Butterfly:

You make sense and at the same time you are logical, do accept that the urge to get on that ride will appear again and maybe already have since your last post. This is natural and understandable that you have this urge. It will be your maturity and wisdom to not react to that urge by getting on that ride.

No matter how strong the urge and what “sense” it is seeming to make any particular moment (rationalizing the irrational urge)- talk real sense to yourself with compassion for your self.

Whenever you think of him, of what he will do next; about his motivations, etc. change your focus from being on him- to being on yourself. What is your motivation? To stop your suffering. Why? Because you deserve peace of mind. How? Exiting the theme park every single time you find yourself in it (the urge … dragging you there).

anita