Dear iamzen:

Reads to me  that you made the right decision: for a whole  year the two of you actively participated in an affair that  included romantic and sexual elements. I don’t think it would have been possible for you to have suppressed  your feelings because  she flirted with  you and likely to have continued to do so, encouraging those  feelings you would  be trying to  suppress.

Moving  forward, keep a working-only relationship with her,  is  my advice.

anita

Dear iamzen:

Can you state  exactly what it is that you are uncertain about?

Also, you wrote:  “our relationship became extremely  flirtatious.  The  sexual chemistry we have  is undeniable”- can you give me a couple or few examples of her flirtatious or sexual-chemistry talk/ behavior?

anita

Dear iamzen:

I see why you put quotation marks around Straight in the first line of your original post referring to your co worker. “she kissed me which lead to a make out session” is evidence to me that she  is not on the straight ending  of the straight-to-Lesbian spectrum. And so, the friendship was  partially a physical, sexual affair. One make out session makes it  so. Problem is, “the next day she acted like nothing ever happened between us”.

But something did happen.

Friends do talk about something that did happen, don’t they? But you never talked about it. I’d say, if you were to  reconnect with her, talk about it, share, explain, figure out what it was and what it is that is  between the two  of you. What about bringing this up to her?

anita

Dear iamzen:

How can you possibly be Zen  (in your username), if you can’t talk  about significant things happening in a relationship, be  it a friendship or otherwise. Let’s say you resume a friendship with her, next time something significant happens, do you wait to see if she decides retroactively if it happened or not?

I understand that you are  lonely at work and that you have a long distance relationship, so you need something  close. How is the long distance relationship?

anita

Dear iamzen:

She blocked you, meaning she is not there for a friendship or anything else. So your uncertainty is a mute issue, correct, meaning it doesn’t  matter  if you are uncertain about a friendship with her because  there is  none and she made a clear move of letting you know that she has  no intent to have one with you.

Unless she forgets that it happened tomorrow, like she did the  kissing, do you think? And  then unblocks you?

I don’t know the  circumstances of your long distance relationship, but you do need a close  distance relationship.

anita

Dear iamzen:

If your long distance relationship is not going to change soon, maybe you should end it so to avail yourself to a short distance relationship.

Regarding this woman, “why are my  feelings so strong for this person”- the answer could be something as simple as why I feel so strongly about melted  chocolate- I had wonderful experiences eating melted or melting  chocolate, the taste, the texture, it  felt so   good. So ever since   I feel strongly  about  melted chocolate, have a desire  for it. I know  it  is  fattening, but I still want it.

anita

You are welcome, iamzen. Post anytime you’d like.

anita