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Emotional addiction

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  • #175131
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ale:

    You are welcome. As to “I lived normally and naturally in the moment but when I’m stressed I come back to my head”- I think this happens to everyone. No human lives in the moment all the times. It is probably possible for animals because they don’t have our language and all the thoughts made possible using language. But humans, oh, we do go back to thinking a whole lot.

    When stressed, the brain isĀ  motivated to think so to resolve the stress, to find a solution to the stress. Problem is we don’t think well when stressed too much, so better calm down first. So go back again and again to calm, to focusing on your breath, to listening to sounds around you, to disengage from that “loop of hell” you were referring to, that is the loop of overthinking and the distress is causes.

    anita

    #175461
    Ale
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    I know that it wants calm and practise. That is so difficoult lol Take it with irony.

    In other words it could be possible that I’ve lost myself. My phisologyst says ever that I have to be more assertive, but I forget ever this priority and I come back in my head with the ossessive phrase and strategy. I did not great the terapy I think. Infact when I come back home after the meeting I go to my laptop, write the strategy and repeat that in my head again again and again.Ā  Maybe I have to change my attitude and live more without thinkin…what do you think about that?

    #175617
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ale:

    I think that thinking needs to be effective, to make life better, not worse. So, if you find yourself thinking but no good comes of it, then better not to do that kind of thinking.

    When you find yourself thinking… think: is this thinking making my life better, am I coming to a practical solution to a problem?

    Or is this thinking making me anxious and I am not arriving to any practical solution to any problem?

    Avoid the second kind of thinking and promote the first kind.

    anita

    #175955
    Ale
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Thank you for the message. I think the same! But what do you do when you are lost in the thinking and you are unconscious of that. A lot of time I find my self lost in the activity of mind. So this is the reason of the loop. Sometimes I’m not conscious of that and I think to much than normal

    #175987
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi Ale,

    My head is like yours too. I feel like a billion thoughts per minute going on in the head. I can only suggest you the ways to come out of your ‘mind’ problem, but the “doing” part will be yours.

    Right now, what is stopping you from going into the inner body (link below) which takes the attention away from the thinking mind?
    (https://tinybuddha.com/topic/emotional-addiction/page/3/#post-174061)

    You might say I don’t even know my mind has got lost into thinking. That is the duty of the mind, to pull you into thinking.
    If you have read the post thoroughly it does contain the solutions to these problems.

    “Donā€™t be concerned if the mind occasionally succeeds in drawing your attention out of the body and you lose yourself in some thought. As soon as you notice that this has happened, just return your attention to the inner body.”

    “Be more focused on your subtle energy body and do not spend so much time in following the distractions of the mind. Thoughts may come but your job is not to jump onto the train of thoughts. Catch yourself ā€“ ā€œAh there I was thinking againā€¦.there I was starting to make mind-moviesā€¦.there is my mind monkeying around.ā€ Go back to your inner body.”

    The trick is if you start by going into your inner body you will not go much frequently into your head,
    but if you start by going into your head you will not wish to go into your body (because the mind has already taken over) and it takes some time to come back to the present (especially for people who get lots of thoughts).
    So you need to start with the former.
    Begin with the morning and night routine mentioned in the above post and then throughout your daily activities.

    But are you doing this is the question?

    Warm Regards,
    VJ

    #176001
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ale:

    You asked: “what do you do when you are lost in the thinking and you are unconscious of that”?-

    you become conscious, or mindful of your thinking. You notice what you are thinking and then you can do something about it.

    When you are lost, you have to notice (to be conscious of, or mindful of the fact) that you are lost before you look for a way out.

    anita

    #176137
    Ale
    Participant

    It is a good strategy to not “thinking about the thinking”. I’m trying to explain better: so the focus it could be on the present moment you know. So, not to be focused on the activity of the mind, but to be focus on the present (inner energy said VJ). So disregard the thought is good for me? I’m overthing…I know that it is not the way…

    #176193
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ale:

    It is a balance: you can’t eliminate thinking from your life, your brain exists, therefore, it thinks. You can take breaks from thinking by meditating, that is, focusing on sounds, for example, listening to sounds and nothing else. Or you can take a break from thinking by exercising.

    But you will think again, following any break you take. It is important to notice what you think, that is, to be mindful of what you think so to minimize ineffective, impractical thinking (and the anxiety associated with it) and choose to think when practical.

    anita

    #176401
    Ale
    Participant

    I read a lot about the present moment you know. My problem is to thinking to much and saw a video of an american boy that said to bring the mind in the present moment and live like a children of 3 years old. Why this? Because they are constantly in the present moment. Why children are in the present moment? And why we are not in? Because we pass from a full life to an thinking life?
    For example, this night I had a problem with sleep. Sometimes this appens. And when you start to search a solution you’ll never sleep (after an hour I fall asleep) but my mind sees only the problem, not that I sleept 7 hours! My terapyst say sometimes that the weather not helps.!!!

    #176403
    Ale
    Participant

    @VJ

    I search to feel my inner body, or my body in general to “escape from my thought” but my head start again after few second lol

    #176417
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi Ale,

    That is bound to happen.

    Are you going to quit an effective technique just after a few seconds?

    You stated your “head starts again”. Isn’t it mentioned in the instructions that this is going to happen to you and to go back into the inner body as soon as you go into your head? Allow yourself to think as much as you want, but a moment, however tiny, will arise when you will see yourself that you were thinking.

    The moment you realize that you were in your head is the moment of Presence.

    That is Presence.

    We are not enlightened as the Buddha to start living in every single moment.

    Keep the practice on and sooner or later you will feel better and better and won’t even bother much about what your mind is thinking.

     

    Warm Regards,

    ~VJ

     

     

     

     

     

    #177335
    Ale
    Participant

    Dear Vj,

    Yeah the point “The moment you realize that you were in your head is the moment of Presence” inspires me. And Yes I stop the tecnique after few seconds. This is the loop. Is like i forgot the strategy and I “need” to be sure that I stay on the right way and I start to repeat.

    In the following days I’ll try to see only my thought and not care about that. I’ll start to be focused on my body and the present.

    thank you šŸ™‚

    #182443
    Ale
    Participant

    Hi guys. I discussed a lot of these advertising that you gave to me with my terapyst. He has said that I need to practise the strategy and make concrete them. I need to stop to read ever new books trying to find something that can help me and stop to think about the perfection that it is the main problem of anxiety in everyone, in particoular to me. He said another important thing about the phrases that I repeat in my mind in loop: I use that phrase as a ritual to manage my anxiety.

    Now, I focused on the concept. But it is so natural when I’m confuse in the present. I’m trying to live less in my mind and go out of that and live the moment. Do you know some advertising for me?

     

    #182465
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Ale:

    Welcome back to your thread. I don’t know what you mean by “advertising”. WhatĀ  yourĀ  therapist told you about expecting perfection from yourself asĀ  aĀ  cause to your anxiety makes senseĀ  to me. Your intent andĀ  effort to live in the moment also makes senseĀ  to me. I hope you continue seeing your therapist.

    anita

    #182499
    Ale
    Participant

    Yeah. For advertising I mean advice! Sorry but my english is not good. I think that I could start to think that I’m not my mind and start to live the reality as it is. Maybe sometimes is like I don’t know to live. It is a bastard emotion. How can I live more the present? I know that it could be naturally, but is really difficoult

Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 68 total)

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