I met one of my best friend’s roommates at the beginning of the school year, September. I was immediately had a crush on him and tried to kinda hang around him/chat as much as possible. Fast forward three weeks later..the two of us ended up staying up ALL night (on a Tuesday when we both had class, at that) just talking. Eventually (maybe around 6 am) I admitted I liked him..he said he liked me too. The first physical contact we had was cuddling after that, but nothing else, not even kissing, we just cuddled, he held me and squeezed me and I distinctly remember him saying “I never want to let you go” (not in a creepy way!). We were essentially “together” after that. He was busy with school and work a lot but we saw each other a lot as my best friend was his roommate. A lot of nights I would spend the night, we might make out, but always went to bed cuddled up and it felt so good. As time went on, we got closer emotionally and physically (which is a BIG deal for me) and our relationship, I thought, was evolving. We were separated for 3 weeks during winter break, and that was hard as I was still lovey dovey and he’s not the kind to chit chat alot- which is okay. We came back and I was so happy to see him, he was happy to see me. It was great. He did, however, not give me the attention I felt I deserved (I know that sounds bratty, but really, I got next to nothing and that just hurt because I liked him so much) and I put an end to things. I cried the entire next day and the day after that I realized I’d rather be in an odd relationship with him than none at all, I just felt SO strongly about him. So we got back together and he vowed he’d put more effort into our relationship and what not. I wouldn’t say things changed too much, but I didn’t care because I liked him so much, I thought I was in love with him even. Valentines day he, uncharacteristically, shows up at my apartment with roses, had made reservations at a cute italian restaurant and claimed the night was for me, he just wanted to be with me and make me happy. Less than a week later, he broke up with me. Despite my crying and despite my intense refusal to allow him to do so, we went to bed that night broken up. His reasoning: he might not be “cut out” for a relationship (hes had multiple ones in the past so thats bull), I deserve someone much better than him, he treats me awfully and it will be better for me in the long run, maybe it would be better for him. Essentially, he pulled the card that he broke up with me to protect me. I know he still likes me, or did at the time of break up. He refused to change his mind immediately and said he needed space and time to think about our relationship and stuff. I was clearly upset, and its clear to him that I would have preferred to NOT break up. I texted him the next morning explaining that I understand needed space to think outside of crazy emotional times, but asking him to actually talk to me if that thinking leads him anywhere and that I would try my hardest to give him that space-no response. I’ve literally spent the past two days BAWLING. I had to miss class, I can’t sleep in my own bed because it reminds me of him. Everything reminds me of him and I’ve had to escape for the weekend. I’m absolutely destroyed and crushed and my heart is broken. I think I was in love. The crazy thing is, I would LOVE to get back into a relationship with him, even if the things he viewed as so bad didn’t change because I genuinely care about him so much and the silly moments of lying in bed all cuddled up and being kissed on the forehead make me feel so safe and so loved that its okay. My friends insist I don’t talk to him because he obviously hasn’t put any effort into talking to me yet (and likely, he won’t in the future because thats the introvert he is). Point is- I don’t know what to do. ANY advice or insight would be SO appreciated. I’m just lost.