Dear C,

Ah, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling and what you are going thru. As a 30-year old, I can guarantee you that I have been thru this, know how you feel (way too many times!) and assure you that it.will.pass! You will get thru this and come out stronger at the end of this – no matter how it goes.

But first things first : you did nothing wrong here. I dont know him but if he says he needs the time, he needs the time. He obviously has a lot of things to deal with and I can understand that he is being distant and cold (doesnt make it ok thought). As a rule, something I have learnt is when someone tell you that they will hurt you or arent deserving of you – believe them! They are saying it because they see a definite potential of hurting you and it is not something you want to hang around to see if there is any truth to it.

But in the meantime, you need to take care of you. Surround yourself with friends and people who cherish you and love you. Try to do a little something for yourself every day, go out for a walk, eat healthy and nurture yourself. Watch DVDs that you like, make you smile. Paint, sing, draw…whatever brings you comfort. There will be tears but everyday will bring new strength and a teeny bit of joy that will start to add up and make a difference. You can wait for him or get on with your life, looking after yourself and becoming more of the person you are meant to be. Either way, when the time comes to have a conversation with him, you will be in a much healthier space to take a decision based on what is good, positive and nurturing for YOU.

You can do this, you really can. You will be ok. Just give yourself comfort, kindness, love and patience. You are not alone, we all know how this feels and you will get thru this. Keep me posted.

Warmth your way,
Lily.
Ps. Baggage Reclaim is an amazing website for you to check out when you feel ready. Nat’s words make so so so much sense and it has helped me so much when it comes to relationships, self-esteem and look after myself.