Hello all,

I have generalized anxiety disorder brought about by a series of trauma inducing sickness in the family (tb, cancer for mom, heart attack like symptoms for grandma and syncope for dad all in a short span). I was much stronger before, but these series of illness and frequent nerve wrecking experiences have devastated me. All three of them are fine for now. But it has induced in me a constant fear of their well-being. They are my world. They are my everything. I don’t remember a period of my life where I’ve lived without them, so I don’t know and can’t imagine a life without them. Last night, I forgot to take my med, 0.5 mg of Trika (a benzo) which I’ve been taking for the past 9 months under the guidance of my therapist and my family doctor. I also had lesser sleep than usual (somewhere around 6 hours when compared to my usual 7 and a half hours). Add to this I had a dream of my grandma, seeming 5 years younger and much more active. On waking up I realized that she could never be the same as then and add to that my fear of losing my loved ones, lack of med for a night and lessened sleep, I’ve been feeling awful all day. Sad thought after sad thought about the day me losing them approaching fast, has bombarded me and I’ve been feeling nauseous, grief stricken, scared and nervous all day. I need some comforting words and guidance. I can’t talk about this to anyone cos dad has enough problems to handle, grandma is old, mom is already mentally very weak. And the friends to whom I usually open up to are abroad business. I feel lonely, scared and in need of a hug and some confidence inducing words. Please help…