Home→Forums→Relationships→Don't Know What to do With Life
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June 21, 2016 at 8:59 am #107843LinLinParticipant
I feel like giving up in life. 2016 has brought so much pain that it is getting harder and harder to remain positive. I have GAD and OCD to deal with as well as living with my boyfriend of 5 years (lived together so far for 2). My bf and I normally get along well, but weve both been faced with catastrophe after catastrophe this year.
In January, he got very sick until February with a heart issue, which affected his breathing and it was very stressful since he also could not work. Then, he got let go of his job in early Feb (still has no job). We struggled to find a new home this whole time as well and had to be out by March 1st. We ended up having to settle for a cold, damp basement because it was all we could find as our old lease was up. Then, we were in a bad car accident – lost my car, he got a hit pretty bad scars and all. After that, I got very sick for another 2 weeks with a bad flu. Then, I let go of a friend who had been bad-mouthing me and it still hurts to have let her go. My best friend has been struggling with heart issues since 2013…I hate where I work but cannot seem to find other work.
It has literally been one disaster after another. I’ve tried my best to cope but my bf not working has brought on the most stress. He has depression and it stops me from being able to be happy too. I know he loves me and wants a life with me but sometimes our future is hard to see coming true.
I don’t know what to do, I feel so lost, broken, confused, desperate and lonely.June 21, 2016 at 9:13 am #107846AnonymousGuestDear linlin:
The series of events in your life is very unfortunate. When you think of possible solutions of this trend of catastrophes, what comes to mind, as possible solutions?
anita
June 21, 2016 at 9:25 am #107849LinLinParticipantWell, I know my bf is job searching very hard. I find it odd that he gets no responses and has been looking basically this entire year so far? It scares me how hard it is for anyone in their 20’s to find full time work now and it’s pretty sad. Especially when he tries so hard. So with that situation, thats all he can do is try. And I am stuck waiting and wondering which is driving me crazy because if he finds no work, we lose our home and will need to move back with our parents separately and live over 2 hours apart. Which would put a large dent in our relationship due to the stress.
My car situation has been fixed. I was a bit irritated that he put no money into helping me pay for my new car but again, he isn’t working so could not really help. Just found it odd that he did not even talk about it. Nor did he really say he felt bad.
I find I am developing anger toward him because 90% of the situations that have happened so far have come from him yet I am the one having to handle and deal with it all. Obviously he is stressed too, which explains our fights being a lot more dramatic lately.
We use to be so good. Had money to go out on weekends, both worked full time, had a future planned (when to be married/engaged/have kids) and now ALL of that is having to be pushed back because of him not working. It almost feels like he is keeping me behind in life because I also cannot exactly get into a new job right now while he’s jobless – in fear if I got let go, we’d definitely lose our home based on having 0 income coming in.
I love him a lot and I know he loves me and I’m his whole world. But I’ve never been through so much dramatic events one after another like this before. It feels like I am living in hell and no matter how hard we try, problems just seem to keep coming. They never stop. It makes any small good things that come up seem meaningless because we know bad will soon follow.
It has definitely affected our anxiety levels and overall happiness (mine) since he says he is 100% happy with me. I want to be 100% too…but I hate not knowing what will come.
June 21, 2016 at 1:12 pm #107865AnonymousGuestDear linlin:
Maybe you should let go of him and end the relationship. Did you think of that as a possibility? If you did, what are your thoughts for and against it?
anita
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