Home→Forums→Share Your Truth→Do you like confident people?
- This topic has 27 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
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October 3, 2015 at 11:32 am #84621jockParticipant
anita
your reference to being glad you weren’t the one getting the beating as a child reminds me of school in the sixtees.
at my private school almost everyone got hit by the teacher and I felt the same thing. “Oh glad it’s not me this time”October 3, 2015 at 5:56 pm #84638AnonymousGuestDear Jack:
I wish it wasn’t so, but I enjoyed watching her beat my sister up. I enjoyed it vicariously and before that I know I beat my sister myself, i remember only once, but I was told I did and I regret it very much. Poor little girl, beaten, her innocence betrayed by me. I betrayed that little girl innocence and dependence on me. I was, am six years older than her. That day she was maybe one or two, i was eight or so. I remember her face and those eyes and it pains me so. It pains me very much.
anitaOctober 3, 2015 at 7:48 pm #84646jockParticipantI was going to start a thread on guilt but there are a few things I find even hard to admit to myself. it is not that I don’t trust people here, it is just that I don’t think I would feel good about it by the end.
All I can say is Anita, I’m sorry for your sister but I feel sorrier for you. You carry such a burden for such a long time. You deserve to give yourself a break . Absolutely no judgement my end. “he who cast the first stone…”.
Hope that helps.
Isn’t it amazing how much crap we all carry with us…- This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by jock.
October 3, 2015 at 8:02 pm #84649AnonymousGuestDear Jack:
You are here, good thing. I shared more crap, you may be reading it now. Real wrongdoing. I am not afraid of what anyone may think on the website. Does not matter. None here was involved, none is a child hurt by me. And yet, we are all children inside and it is still my duty not to hurt (Do No Harm). There is nothing more humbling than the innocence of a child.
It is real stuff, not crap, real guilt, not crap. This is not made up, this is real wrongdoing. Something I have to live with for as long as I am alive
anita
October 3, 2015 at 8:04 pm #84651jockParticipantsorry, crap is maybe the wrong word then
October 3, 2015 at 8:11 pm #84655AnonymousGuestFor this it is the wrong word, but for a lot of other things it is the right word. Crap. Crap. Crap. Good night Jack (8:10 pm Washington, Saturday night…)
October 3, 2015 at 8:13 pm #84656jockParticipantforum addiction may be yet another issue for me now too
October 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm #84658AnonymousGuestDear Forum Addict Frank…?
Not really an addiction for me.
anitaOctober 3, 2015 at 11:35 pm #84659AnonymousInactiveHey jack. Forum addiction. No different to Facebook addiction or thst kind of thing.
It’s a basic need to connect and here yiu ate very validated and that’s addictive. To be heard. Nothing wrong with that.
I’ve been working on scientific experiments on the outside world relating to connection. I have to push myself to strive for what I want and break down my inner barriers or otherwise they’ll never change. They’re just habits after all. Or old defence mechanisms I don’t need any more but don’t know how to work outside of.
For confidence I’ve been saying. The next I speak to I’m going to give them my absolute full attention. I’m asking questions and really listening. Like here but out there. How scary out of ten was that? 7 because my mind keeps wandering back to how I’m feeling. Reel the mind pomp and concentrate. … so I’ve been having real conversations. It’s hard but very rewarding. Once that becomes second nature I want to experiment on talking slower ad I’m convinced no one’s really intersTed in me so I talk fast to save their boredom. That’s my next experiment. Fear level 9 out of ten. To be do continued…
October 4, 2015 at 12:40 am #84668AnonymousInactivePomplemous, omg thats similar to the way i went about it! This helped immensely in overcoming social anxiety and making new connections 😀 About 10 months ago, i actually made a list of social interactions that scared me and started practicing them.
October 4, 2015 at 1:16 am #84669AnonymousInactiveClever girl. I’m surrounded in my world with people who say ‘it’s just the way i am’… and I think really? I hope the way i am is not all I’m ever going to be. Seems so final.
Little steps for big differences . Keep on. Me too Xx
October 4, 2015 at 2:09 am #84670AnonymousInactiveYep totally! My next big challenges seem to be finally getting back into a healthier body and getting into the career i want. I have had body issues forever and i feel ready to get healthier.
October 4, 2015 at 7:30 am #84677AnonymousInactiveI started the health thing by privately jumping on the spot in my kitchen. I could go for ages and made me giggle like a girl.
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