We are not in control, God is. We can control our thoughts, and our actions. That is it. When I got into recovery and I really began to think of it, it made me feel very small and powerless. I know that I used to be filled with only my egoic mind. I had no power, I thought I was ego. I found supernatural power and out of bondage to myself through Jesus. I know that when I live in the spirit by being filled with the spirit, I know the power that is within me isnt mine, it is Jesus and in the spirit, I forget all about me. It wares off in a few days and we must constantly be filled or else we will diminish in consciousness and wind up in self again. I cant say no to my damn flesh and my addiction on my own. I have to life constantly fed and I that’s alot of discipline, but I am getting there. Before, I was living my life based on my thoughts of what I thought was best for me., in the spirit there are no thoughts, there is no you and literally every moment is the only moment and the next you have no idea, because youre not in control, God is. I definitely believe God knows what is best for me more than I do. I also know that in my will I am self destructive, and I am spirit I am who God made me to be.
The more we relinquish control and surrender our lives the more powerful and spirit fed we are. To hold on is to fear, to let go is to trust.
ITs a journey and trust me, I have to eat my own words, because I battle as well.