Hello Mark, and welcome.

While I agree with this, “We are always in control of whether we retreat, or if we take the next step, and then the next…as we strive for our goal.” I don’t completely agree with the fact that we have control over our lives, at least not in a way that can counteract all of the external forces pushing us off of the road.

I say this because take a single person for example, who is working for minimum wage, while trying to go to school and pay all their bills at the same time. Say they get injured on the job or are laid off due to the economy, or are perhaps unable to keep going to school and can no longer afford to pay all their bills due to rising costs. Well, in this case, while this person can in fact control what they do next and what their course of action is, they don’t really have control over the situation because all of these things are out of their control. They themselves cannot control the economy, or get a higher paying job if there are no openings, or pursue further schooling if they cannot afford it.

Whatever choice they make then, is not the ideal or expected outcome, rather it is a choice made out of the limitations they have to deal with. So in a sense, they don’t really have control over their lives. Rather, the external forces have control over that person’s life, and the only control they then have, is the limitation that they accept to live with. And while sure, that limitation might only be temporary, it could also be permanent. So to speak, this person did not have control over their life.

Of course, I made this situation up, but it wouldn’t surprise me if someone did experience such things.

Thanks Jack. I like the idea myself!
anita

Dear who:

I know! I know the answer to this one (yes, and every question anywhere, everywhere… ): we need routine AND change. Both. Like a toddler with his mother, staying close (sameness, like routine) and when safe enough the toddler walks away to explore (change). Every once in while he looks back to see his mother (sameness) and explores some more (change).

And our blood sugar stays the same, otherwise we have diabetes, and our body temperature remains the same, otherwise we have fever. The body works hard to keep conditions the SAME (homeostasis) and the body works hard to make fast changes as needed when running from a predator. Both, same and change.

Not all control is an illusion. Keeping blood sugar the same is not an illusion, neither is organizing our stuff in drawers and our thoughts in categories. Order, sameness, routine AND disorder, change.

It is a balance thing, we need some of each.

anita

To: Anita, Thanks You! for broadening my perspective on this matter, you are right!
a bit of both balance…

But I do have to say, I never owned a dresser to organize my clothes, for the fact that one, It never made sense to me. Meaning folding and unfolding, color coding them and putting them into categories.
1) because it’s time consuming and they’re just going to get wrinkly anyways.
2) you are not really keeping them in order if you have to keep putting them in and out.
To me doing so is a false sense of control or order.
But that’s just me.

Instead I just have a cool laundry hamper use, no folding no, color coding, and no set order. All just piled inside one place.

Dear who:

I am not organized with clothes myself. Most of my adult life I moved so much and so often I kept minimal belongings. I think I lived in 50 different places in California and often enough didn’t have a place when I was in between places, so I didn’t have much to organize. Maybe like you..?

Anyway, I do organize my thoughts, at times, otherwise they are all over the place. Just all over the place, every thread you open, every page on tiny buddha….

And you are welcome. How gracious you are!
anita

Yes I can agree on the moving and not being stable a 100%
Thank You! Anita

I feel that my thoughts are never organized, because I’m constantly thinking billions of things at a time. sometimes I wish I had an off switch.

Much love and GOOD NIGHT! for reals this time.. I tried a bit ago, got caught up in Tiny Buddha Topics.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by who.