Europe will be great for you. New sites and sounds to reinvigorate you, and get your engine excited again about new opportunities. I disagree with the rush out and find “new” love thing. This is one thing that drives me nuts in today’s society of convenience. We can rush out and get a new man, like we’re grabbing a burger. :0)

I know you’re friends are well-meaning, but that’s a trap we like to rush into. It’s a quick and easy fix, which means it’s no fix at all.

You sound so down about the idea of loving yourself, as if it’s such a depressing thought and futile effort. How great would it be for you to realize how amazing you are and what all you can offer yourself?!?! How great would it be to not need anyone else to make you feel fulfilled?!?! How great would it be to offer those you love -most especially yourself – something more than insecurity and the unhealthy behaviors that result from it?!?! :0)

You only have to change your ideas of what’s important to you, and make you the priority. You’re worth it!

You’re going through the dark phase that happens after break-ups, but “this too shall pass”. He is the past, and that’s the bed you need to let him RIP in. You have a whole new future ahead of you, and he’s chosen to not be apart of it. So be it. Can you do anything to change the situation by falling into a trap of self pity and insecurity? No. Can you do anything to change it by showing how you desperately miss him? No. If you did get him back, would you be happy? No, because he’s cheated. If you hang onto him, you hang onto a ghost – a relationship that doesn’t exist anymore. And it sounds to me like that’s a very good thing for you! A broken heart can’t heal, if it keeps jabbing itself with painful “what ifs” and replays of times gone by. Don’t beat yourself up.

Give yourself a brief period to grieve, and then move-on. Focus on right now – not the future or the past. Don’t worry about healing, just give yourself new motivations and new interests with each new minute that passes by. Set goals for yourself, in regards to things you’re passionate about. Find things you love to do, and focus on doing them. Let yourself get to a place where you’re happy – even if it’s only for a moment, which gives your brain endorphins and other chemicals to change it’s way of thinking. Healing will come with time.

As far as the guy goes, it’s going to be tough maintaining long-term relationships with anyone when you’re already married. I get that your best friends, and it’s financially feasible, but is that what you want to be locked into for a lifetime? If it is, then expect a lot of turnover in the boyfriend department, or guys who’ll feel okay about dabbling elsewhere , because you’re married. That marriage is a deprivation of growth for yourself and in relationships with other people. Ask yourself, “what kind of guy is fogging to happily date a married woman?” I think you’ve discovered the answer to that. You are effectively tied down by law, even if not by emotion.

I know it’s tough, but you’ll get through this. Trust that belief and trust yourself. You’re capable of far more than you know right now, don’t let the slump get you down…it’s just a slump. And life’s a coaster…everything from here is high riding! ;0)

Hi Lilbuddha,

What you wrote is something I needed to read at this moment. Although, I’m in the phase of ‘moving on’; today specifically, as it is a Saturday I was down with low moments, and I have noted it is happening quite often on Saturdays….Mon to Fri there isn’t much time to ponder over past as I see and meet lot of people in office. Just when Saturday hits…Oh My God…It’s just so difficult; I started the morning very well, all pepped up, did many stuffs, then I started missing my ex. She is lesbian and I don’t share the same feelings; which is why I’m breaking this relationship; also it started because I was low with my previous relation. As my ex gave me all the emotional support I needed, I had become dependent on her and 15 days ago I was saying to my psychologist ‘I don’t have the courage to leave her’ . She asked why and I said ‘Because she has been there for me and I just don’t know how to take off this base of support suddenly and stand on my own. What if I fall?’. I was so weak. God!

Today after more than 15 days of no contact; I was (am) missing her badly. Everything that we shared together in 2 years. All the happy and togetherness moments we had. It’s just so difficult to forget and not think about it.

I think I need to be super occupied to make myself less vulnerable. It’s again a very delicate phase; where I can fall again, so I’m being very careful to what I speak and whom and how much I speak in office; as I won’t realize when someone notices my down phase and tries to take advantage of it, (This is how my ex had hit on me; although she was dating many other girls from office). I don’t wanna fall for any kind of support anymore and be on my own. Somewhere I’m strong; but the times I’m emotional, it leaves a great impact on my strong mind ! Phew!

So I have decided to go for a movie tomorrow. I gotta move out of the bed and do something different!

My heart says so much….’I miss her…:-( I don’t want to hold this emotion inside for it to suddenly pop up if and when she comes to see me. I wanna feel it and let it go. For me to be strong; strong enough to tell her, I appreciate what we had, but it’s not going to work. (Inside I would be saying…I love you too..hehehehe). God! So difficult to breakup!

Think I wrote a lot…:-)
Thanks Lilbuddha!
Cheers!