Yeah that’s right, I avoid topics that I don’t want to talk about and focus on other things more.

Yeah for someone go give me their undivided attention without being present physically reduced the pressure of everything. It felt easy. So I could put on weight and not be judged. The more I was criticised before by family members, the more I started to critique myself which became a vicious circle.

I’m not entirely sure what bothered him. I guess when I was born he didn’t want another kid?  He also started resenting me for over achieving in academia- he thinks I somehow sabotaged my brothers education.

Thanks!

Hi Anita

On days it’s ok but I have this resentment towards him. Sometimes I refuse to be in his presence.

Mum is a lot better now, but I always have it in the back of my mind that she resents me for a lot of things. Used to be up and down as well.

Thanks

Yes that’s right! I remember once I was hungover lol and my friend(online) wanted to have dinner but I had already had mine. The whole day after I asked him if I had him angry or if he was annoyed with me a few times.

Not sure what they were angry about. All I knew was that they were always angry growing up.

Harminder

Hi Anita

Incident 1

Over a year ago- I wanted to quit my PhD due to differences with my supervisor. They got angry and basically told me I was a failure

Incident 2- my dad told me I should encourage my brother to do a masters. I said it was his choice and I couldn’t force him. He told me i wanted to sabotage my brothers life in some way.

I hope they’re ok examples, I’ll see if I can think of some more

Thanks

Hi Anita

Yes in some ways he does. He feels like marrying my mum and having kids sabotaged his career progression.

Relationship with parents is quite up and down as again he blames them for holding in back but when In reality a person is responsible for their own choices and actions?

Also, Happy New year!! Hope this year is better than the last one.

Hi Anita

Hope you’re well.

Yes I’m slowly trying to make myself understand that none of this is my fault and that the criticisms by others were unfair. Family members don’t always have your best interests at heart, something I’m slowly beginning to realise that. All with time.

Thanks!

H

Hi Anita

Hope you’re well 🙂

I recently reached out to my best friend, she had stopped talking to me because of some misunderstanding we had. Not spoken for 7 months. I messaged her boyfriend over christmas to see if she was reading my messages but nothing yet. Should I reach out again? Any advice regarding this?

Hi Anita

Nope, different one! The friendship was around 8 years, met at uni. We always said we were more like family and did literally everything together. However she stopped talking to me all of a sudden in June, confusing as we had just met two weeks prior and everything was fine. I assumed it was because of me constantly talking about my friend that I know over email (we met through her so mutual friends. So i messaged her and apologized; a few times I emailed her because I was feeling low and I guess I thought she might have calmed down. Recently I found out through our mutual friend that she thought I had been talking about her to two other girls we knew- on any other day she would have asked me out right and believed me but because I had annoyed her she obviously felt hurt by the rumors ( i was probably the closest person to her ) so she blocked me last june. My mutual friend told me to contact her boyfriend, which I did- just asked him to tell her I had sent her an email explaining everything. Luckily, he didn’t reply which is a good sign as he didn’t block me? Not sure what to do next…messaged him over christmas as thats when I found out

Sounds like a teenage drama sequel lol but it’s been really bugging me and good friends are hard to come by, so I don’t really want to give that up