Did I just accept defeat and send a "I'll move on" text

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This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by Big blue.

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October 12, 2014 at 1:41 pm #66213

Anonymous
Inactive

Hi everyone,
I have talked about this situation with a woman I was seeing, and now it seems like things have cooled to the point where I think she is just ignoring me until I give up. Everything started fine and was going fine, up until just after I took her out for her birthday two weeks ago.
I was taking it slow with her, and planned to continue to do that, but suddenly she is too busy to even return a message anymore. She’s a single mom with a two year old, and she works full time. I get that, but I’m a single dad who works full time and I have two sons, 14 and 11 that I am with more than half the time. I can still message someone and I can find some time to see them.

I’m not stupid. I’m sure this is just a way to get me to give up without her having to be the person who says they don’t want to see you anymore. It is disappointing though. She has many great qualities and I liked her personality, but I guess you just can’t make someone want to spend time with you if they don’t want to.

I want to just send her a message that I think she is just avoiding me and let her know that I won’t message her anymore. It sucks because up until two weeks ago, it seems like we could maybe keep developing something from this.

October 12, 2014 at 7:59 pm #66229

Danny
Participant

I’m going through a similar situation in my life. I would MSG her to tell her to have a beautiful day and that I love her or , “how is your day going ?”. it seems to me that when she does respond it would be 5-6 hours later in the day with some type of excuse . I know it hurts knowing she does not want to deal with you or reply in a timely matter. I’m still young compared to you but I’ve been in relationships my whole life since my hormones kicked in. lol not implying that your old either, I just don’t have kids yet. Here is my two cents towards your question. just don’t think about it too much all your doing is killing yourself on the inside. don’t beat yourself up about too much and try to find inner peace with yourself. it really helped me to not think or have that urge to text or call her.There’re plenty of more beautiful mermaids in the vast oceans. Throw out a line with bait and reel em in 🙂 try to find a vice or create new habits per-say exercising or taking your kids out for a fun day with dad 🙂 wish the best of luck to you Steve. If its meant to be than its meant to be.

October 13, 2014 at 6:14 am #66234
Lucinda
Participant
I was just talking with a friend about this type of thing the other day… When I’m not sure what’s going on, but want something different than what I fear, the best thing I’ve found to do is be direct, honest and authentic. Then, no matter what the outcome, I’ve done my part, I’ve cleaned up my side of the street, and I’m right with me.

So for example, you could call (I think voice is better, even if you get voice mail) and say something that’s true, honest and authentic like, “I miss hearing from you, I’ve really enjoyed our time together and would like more but I want to respect where you are in your life. Give me a call, or text, to let me know how you’re doing either way please.”

Then if she calls great, if not you will know but you will also know that you’ve been true to yourself and stated what’s in your heart.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Lucinda. Reason: added last sentence
October 14, 2014 at 10:31 am #66267

Anonymous
Inactive

Well, it’s done. She doesn’t have time for a relationship. At least that is what she says. I’m disappointed. I don’t know how some people don’t start to care about a person, after they spend time getting to know them, but I am beginning to wish I was one of them. I had my heart crushed when my piece of trash ex cheated on me and left me. Now I feel small heartaches when I try to get to know new women. It’s just frustrating already.

October 15, 2014 at 6:19 pm #66325

Big blue
Participant

Hi Steve,

Sorry it did not work out – frustrating!

How long since your marraige split?

Big blue
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