Dear person88:

Did I understand correctly what you wrote here: “as i wasnt feeling fine,he was punching my body nd slaping my face..”- are you saying you had a fever and he punched you and slapped you?

If so, it is very wrong for him to hit you when you are healthy and when you are sick. If he has done that, there should have been no contact with him following that one time.

I read your whole post. The title of your thread includes three questions to which I would like to offer my answers:

1. “Did he ever loved me?”- maybe a moment here and a moment there, but his uncaring and cruel behavior many times cancel those moments. To love, a person has to consistently love, and to not mix cruelty with moments-of-love.

2. “Was (he) just playing?” – often he was just playing, as he is not an honest person. When a person is dishonest a lot of the times, as he has been, you shouldn’t trust that person.

3. “What should I do to move on?”- have no contact with him whatsoever; never allow him to talk to you. If he knocks on your door, tell him to leave. Do not listen to what he says. Do not talk to him other than tell him to leave. If he doesn’t- call for help, for someone to make him leave. Then, in your future relationships, before you jump into loving a man, figure out who he is; what kind of a man he is: honest or dishonest? Respectful (consistently) or disrespectful?

Consider that for a man to be worthy of your love and dedication, he has to be a man who loves you too and is dedicated to you too.

anita

Dear person88:

Will you end all contact with this man and move on?

anita

Dear person88:

It is very important that you do not allow any contact with him, so he doesn’t make you feel guilty again. No contact- none. Do not give him the opportunity to hurt you again, in any way.

You don’t feel hunger and you think a lot about him because you grew attached to him, not because it is a good relationship. Take best care of yourself at this time, take a hot bath and/ or take a walk outside or post here anytime, but don’t contact him.

As strongly as you feel or will feel like contacting him, or allowing him to contact you- don’t. He is not good for you. Contact with him is not good for you. Resist the temptation. It will get easier over time, if you persist and learn from the experience.

anita

Dear person88,

The physical pain and crying is normal because you are going through a grieving process as a relationship has ended. However to really cut the chord, you must make sure not to allow this man to contact you for whatever reason. Better to block him on fb to be honest or you will end up stalking his profile eventually when you are in a low mood.

There is no right or wrong here about it being “odd” or not in terms of unfriending. He was a jerk to you and you can decide for yourself to have this space. I suggest blocking bcoz if u unfriend, he will use this as an excuse to contact you somehow by sending friend request again. Your call though.

I know this is so painful- to try so hard to be with someone, to give your heart to him and have them do this to you. I tell you though, it wasn’t your fault at all. You did your best but as you can see, his behaviour wasn’t right at all. Don’t allow him to make you feel bad. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl who cares so much. It’s his loss that he didn’t understand your value. It’s your gain that you realised his true nature much before you even got married to this guy and had children. Just imagine how complicated things would have been then.

I can only say that let time heal your heart. Allow yourself to cry, write your feelings down often, go see a friend and go for walk…anything to get your head away from this guy. He wasn’t worthy of this effort.

I am really sorry it ended this way. It does get better though – the heart heals…when I first got my heart broken in a long term relationship, I lost a lot of weight and took up fitness, art to cope with the awful feelings. I cried all the time, felt angry at him and missed him too. Somehow over next couple of months, it got better. He tried to contact me again and do emotional blackmail but I ignored him, blocked him.

It will hurt for a while but it will get better. Don’t be alone during this time though. Go meet your friends, keep yourself occupied. Stay away from fb for the time being.

Regards
Nina

You need to see that you were the victim here. He was heartless and selfless and you were the innocent one that was hurt. Cut off all ties, time heals all wounds, and start dating other guys. You deserve better. Do some introspection and decide what it is that YOU deserve!