Hey, I am a 17 year old girl who feel sad. I feel exhausted, of course I have my good days. But usually I feel lonely, confused, sad, and ugly because of my eczema. I struggle with eczema, and for the moment now I have eczema on my shoulder, throat, neck, arms and dry skin on my forehead that gets dry flakes there like dandruff, and I have dandruff and itchy scalp, it’s ruining my confidence… It’s so much stress having eczema and I’m afraid people see it and think I’m gross + I have bad confidence enough from before. I had eczema since I was a child, like around 2nd grade, but I usually had months with no eczema and now I had it for 1-2 years with no breaks.. I used steroid creams before, but I’m sick of using them because the eczema comes back, sometimes worse.

I also had a lot of issued within my family, which made me move on my own when I was 16. I guess there is much I have inside that bothers me, and I don’t know what to do. I have issues opening up and talking about my real feelings cause I feel embarassed, ashamed and I don’t know.. It’s all hard. I struggle a lot with sadness, not knowing what I want, caring to much about what other people think of me and the sad part is… that it’s so much I want (and know I can do if I put my mind to it) but I feel tapped for all my energy and no motivation then these negative thoughts come along and makes me thing everything I want is impossible. I have no energy to dance, sing, learn guitar, even watch tv and series, movies that I like because I think it’s too much work. I was really great at washing once a week before, now I don’t and I wait aaa long while before I do the dishes.

I have issues with realizing that people can enjoy my company, or that I’m worthy of something. I’m always scared to do stuff that I want to do, because of the fear of what other people might think of me. It has taken over me so much that I’m constantly stressed and have issues relaxing my body, I am always upthight. It has now gotten to the point that if I think I want something, I’m not sure if it is for me, or if it is that I want to please others, or make them like me more… I’m scared to do all the things I want in case someone might dislike me/be cruel, and I know you can’t avoid stuff like that anyways.. But it’s so hard.. And how do I know if I enjoy something, want to do something because I want to do it? How do I get motivation to move on and see a brighter future for myself? How do I get the strengt to believe in my self and do everything I want?

The eczema also makes it harder beause it’s constantly itching and whenever I try to forget about it, I remember it because it itches… And excersing (like dancing a lot and then having to take a shower) can also make it worse.. And stress, I stress a lot.. I feel like a mess. I just want to be happy, of course have sad moments.. but not always feel this inner sadness… I don’t remember how it is to be really happy.. I want to learn to be myself, stress less and get more friends. I also want to redecorate my little place where I live, it’s just that everything feels hopeless.. Life feels hopeless.

I go to a shrink or how you write it, I’m not english you see… but it helps, but not that much. Not enough. And it’s hard to say what I really need to say, and it’s hard to know what i really mean/feel.. I overthink a lot, sometimes so much that I confuse myself..

I don’t know what I want as answers, maybe just some advice.. of what I should do…