Dear  Mm:

You wrote that by the time you will be processed as a nurse where you now live, you will be older. True, you will. But you will be older no matter what, whether processed or not. As long as you live, you will get older as time goes.

We can’t stop time, and we can’t stop getting older.

What you can stop is that role, helping your parents. You bought them a house and sent them money. Stop it now. Put this role behind you.

Can you do that, leave that role behind?

anita

Dear Mm:

You are welcome. It is not easy to give up a lifetime role. From personal experience, it leaves emptiness where that role was. I hope you can handle that emptiness and fill it with living your own life, making you the center of you life. It is the right thing to do. Post again, anytime.

anita

Dear Mm:

I could relate to your experience. I also felt like I only function as a “money lender” to the family since years. Especially when I started working as a high school teacher earning $100 (5,000 Philippine pesos) per month until I worked as a freelance writer earning $350 (20,000 Philippine pesos) per month. For years of working, I couldn’t save a single cent because 95% of my earnings go to my family all the time. Before I could provide them the money, they usually treat me nicely and if they get what they wanted, they return to their old ways. That’s why I could feel your situation. And I am pretty sure that situation will go on just what I have experienced myself.

However…

Feeling empty, lonely, or angry towards your family is really up to your choice. It’s also your decision to stand for your cause — your finances, personal matters, etc. and talk to them how you really felt. If not, have someone to talk to. In my case, I am grateful I have my sister and my husband to listen my rants, complaints.

Right now, having them beside me whenever I feel bad made me feel great. As someone who experienced the way you do, I could really suggest two things. 1) Talk to your family about how you really feel with how they behave after you have helped them, 2) Have someone to talk to. Sincere person/s who will listen to your rants. I bet it will help you out.

Hope these suggestions will give you satisfaction

Mecyll