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Decisions, Decisions…..

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  • #70926
    tempest
    Participant

    hi thinklove. i’m really impressed by your self-awareness. it sounds like you don’t have any ill feelings towards your ex, but i’m totally hearing that you don’t see him as the right person for you. not sharing common interests is one thing, but incompatibility is another. i imagine it was difficult to leave someone whom you respect and cherish for who they are, and it makes sense to have some doubts about whether or not you made the right decision. i like what you said about your your new relationship: you seem to be approaching it with curiosity and few expectations. your ex, on the other hand, seems to want you back in just the opposite way, vowing to cling to you like a dog no matter what. i’m guessing that his request and promises are more about his insecurities than they are about the happiness of either of you. your head and your heart seem to already be telling you what you need to hear: wait it out, try new things, and grow into this new chapter. he’s not going to break if you don’t take him back right away and, if he does, that’s not your responsibility. but if your ex fits the mould later on, so be it. just stay true to yourself as you have been.

    #70932
    Maggie Black
    Participant

    Have fun with your new boyfriend. Your ex is suffering from the “I want what I cannot have” phenomenon.
    Not saying he doesn’t care but why did it take him so long to realize it?
    You have permission to put yourself first…in fact it is a near requirement.
    After you have settled on your true love you can do the self sacrifice thing from time to time.
    Just never sacrifice yourself in the process.

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