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Deciding to stay or leave

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  • October 15, 2018 at 5:52 am #231075
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear liz:

    It is better that you place this relationship in the past for now, for a long time. You need time apart to heal from that “childhood experience of feeling unimportant”. This healing is a long term objective and requires that you attend some psychotherapy, I believe.

    If you got back together with him, your anxiety will bring about the next breakup, then getting back together and a breakup again. This will hurt him more. For his well-being, respect what he told you: “he thinks we just shouldn’t talk for a while and … since I’m not feeling right about him, that we need time apart”.

    I agree, time apart is best. During that time apart, see a therapist/ counselor for the long term objective. If you would like, you are welcome to share about that childhood experience here and I will reply.

    anita

    October 15, 2018 at 8:52 am #231135
    liz
    Participant

    Hi,

    I just hate this. I want to feel loved and love him like we did in the summer. And I honestly just feel terrible everyday. He was my best friend, and I feel like I ruined everything. I feel like crying all the time. I hate how im doing this, he loves me so much and now its all ruined. I feel just utter sadness and emptiness all the time. I am getting anxiety medication and seeing a therapist, but I now am afraid ill never feel the same again. This summer was the best time of my life. And nothing changed for him, he feels exactly the same for me. Why can’t I???

    October 15, 2018 at 9:41 am #231149
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear liz:

    I don’t think he feels the same for you because he does want a break from you and he didn’t want it before, so there is a change. I don’t think you can solve your problem anytime soon, so beating yourself up for not feeling this or that way is useless, it is like beating a dead horse. The relationship has ended for now, so leave it alone and attend to what makes sense: your life as is, doin your best today to function best you can, as well as proceed with therapy, so to heal from your anxiety from way before the recent changes.

    anita

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