Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Dealing with loneliness.
- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by
Silky.
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October 6, 2014 at 8:08 pm #66059
Belle
ParticipantHi Silky 🙂
firstly, I hope you are having a nice day today. Have you tried starting something new? maybe joining a group or hobby that really interests you? you may find that by doing something you are really passionate about, you are not only having an awesome time! but you are going to meet like minded people who share the same interest! always a good starting point!
when I lost my partner I started doing kick boxing, something I had always wanted to do. I have met so many new people who are amazing and on my level due to same interests being shared. not sure if you have already tried this out but maybe you could give it a go?
as for you ex being pretty and having lots of men hovering around her – EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE. you too will find your person!
a Gentleman in my workplace who is 45 has just met the love of his life this year! he said he now understands why it never worked with anyone else and hes never been happier. Age is not a time limit to finding love! keep your head high and your heart open and you too will find love.
love and light
Christie
October 6, 2014 at 9:29 pm #66062louise
ParticipantIf you chose such a person, your values are based on feelings using one another, that is not love.
next time you meet someone dont jump in bed, get to know the nature of a person first.
then marry her, not the other way or you will be on the merry go round making the same mistake over and over again.
go to fhu.com it will help you to understand yourself.
good luck.
louiseOctober 7, 2014 at 3:33 am #66074Codee
ParticipantHi,
Sorry you are stuck in the state of loneliness. You would find that this experience is not unique to you and most of us experience this at some point in life. Having said that it doesnt make your experience any less painful than others. I dont think I am qualified in giving advice cos sometimes I too feel the way you feel.Have you heard of pema chodron? She described 6 kinds of loneliness….I think its worth reading. Meditation is also good too. When our mind drifts one thing we can trick our mind is to stay at present, observe your surrounding, what colour is the sky (blue obviously except if you live in the UK its mostly grey :D) and its ok too when your mind drifts away to think about the past you just have to keep catching it and come back to present. You will also find that when you think about your ex some other thoughts intervene like – what should i have for lunch….:D
Its sad when relationship fails, I recently lost a friend who I thought would stay in my life for a long time but we didnt get past one season! Its sad but at the same time if you love the person, if they decide to move on without you, you need to let them go. That doesnt mean you dont love them or they dont love you, we just have the future without each other and really thats all that is.
Face your fear of loneliness, be a warrior….
I am still trying myself – I got good and bad days….today I want to make it a good day 🙂
Peace & Love
Peddie
October 7, 2014 at 8:39 am #66080louise
ParticipantYou are listening to a demon that has made a home in you and it thinks through you.
Tell it to go back where it comes from and it will leave. It only has the power that you give it.
go to “antidoteforall”
it will give you peace of mind. It is a meditation and it is free.October 8, 2014 at 1:49 pm #66134Silky
ParticipantThanks for everyone’s posts except Tom Dagger. I’m not even going to reply to your post. I don’t know why Belle got flagged. He/She was trying to help.
@Belle – Yes, I’ve tried new things and even joined a few Meetup.com groups. The thing is, none of those things satisfy my desire to be with a woman and to be in a relationship. There all good while I am single but I’d like to do those things with a GF.I never had any women hovering around me. I guess I was attractive to my past GFs but I never was considered “hot” like my ex.
Patience is definitely something I need to work on but something about turning 40 did something in my mind. It all of a sudden makes me feel like I have less time on this earth than I did before turning 30.
@Louise – I am not sure what you mean. I did love my ex and the relationship did move fast, I admit. I did not use her but I think she used me. I really was very much in love with her. I think my mistake was investing to much emotions in her and also my own happiness. I guess I didn’t really get to know the real her. The thing is, I am not sure she even knows that. My therapist says she’s a “chameleon”.
@Codee – no I haven’t heard of pema chodron. I will look her up. Thanks for the info. Meditation keeps coming up over and over but for some reason I am resistant to it. I think it’s because I’ve tried it several times and I don’t think I am doing right or it doesnt’ feel like it’s doing anything. I have a very obsessive mind that has a lot of intrusive thoughts. My mind also races. It’s hard to keep it quiet.I’ve tried being the observer. I don’t know why it’s so hard. I start to do it and the next thing I know, I am back to obsessing again. I guess I have to keep trying over and over again. It’s difficult for me.
I know I need to let my ex go. My brain knows this and all that’s logical and real. It’s my heard that is so powerful that overrides what I know is fact with emotions that keep me hanging on.
@Louise – I will look up antidoteforall – thanks! -
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