Dear Erin:

You wrote: “I always fall back to the same pattern of trying t numb my pain for 1 or 2 days and then have to start all my good habits”-  I think that the solution to this Dead-end problem that you described is to start something new and persist. Exit that pattern of starting, then taking a break and then starting again. This is the dead end: being stuck in the beginning, never getting to the middle and onward.

Clearly, going back to living with your parents is not a good idea, neither is it a good idea to involve your brother in your life.

I am wondering; you wrote that your college degree from your home country is worthless in the U.S. Did you consider teaching in a public school?

Some US public school districts will accept a college degree from other countries (after you send it to an agency that evaluates it) and will hire you based on a degree on any topic. Then as you work you attend classes for a U.S teaching credentials and certification.

anita