Hi Anita,

Thank you so much for your response. You are right in her manipulation and selfishness – it is who I have learned she is. The first real “control freak” I’ve ever met ha. I have known for a bit of time now that whenever we do part ways from living together, whenever and however that may be, that I no longer want her energy around me. It is too draining and not “my people” at all.

I know there is no argument there as far as who should leave, OBVIOUSLY she should yanno seeing as how this is all her choice. I want to stand my ground in that, ha ha wait why would you think I would be the one leaving?, but part of me does feel like I don’t have the desire to fight it if it came to.

I genuinely feel bad for the girl. She lives in such misery within herself and if we didn’t live together, I would tell her exactly that. But to keep the peace, I exhaust myself and keep my mouth shut.

Again, thank you for your response, I truly appreciate it.

Hi Anita,

Yes, all she did was state what she stated in a suggestion for me to move out which in response I pretty much brushed it off with a “oh, no I never planned to go anywhere.” And that was that. I do not want to even turn it into an actual discussion to which she would think that would be a consideration.

You are right in that I am very passive of her and her way of being. I learned more this year from her and her way of being, than I have in any situation in my entire life. She is such a sad and miserable person to her core, that that is what spills out of her in all aspects of her life. Her relationships (and lack there of) with “friends”/family/etc make so much more sense to me now than it did before. I am the complete opposite of a person, the type I know she wishes she was, and I know that bothers her. I feel bad for the girl.

The “keeping the peace” thing is solely because there is no mutual ground with her. She is the most inconsiderate person I’ve ever known. I am not a pushover in any sense, not with anyone in my life. With her however, I see her and her energy being brought into my life as a test for me. To see if I will stoop down to her level, or to rise up and send her love and forgiveness and move on.

The living situation is so toxic that at this point I really do kind of want to leave ha. BUT I will stand my ground as far as not going anywhere if the time came that her bf was going to move in – they’d have to leave.

I took her having him come as in just for a little until they found a place, I had no idea she was meaning for him to move in and me move out hah caught me COMPLETELY off guard. She would never move him in expecting to keep the situation like that; it would either be him move in completely and me move out, or her move out. I am not going to move out so she will just have to go, even though I voiced it being cool that he comes to stay for a bit.

All it boils down to is me having to live with this intense negative energy until the next step happens – whatever that may be. There’s nothing I can say that would change her behavior and energy she brings. It is really effecting me but I am trying to stay strong – knowing no outside force should effect my state of being. It is challenging however, when you live with the person.

Thanks so much for always responding.

Hi Anita,

In terms of the qualities I listed about who she is “judgmental, not supportive, inconsiderate, etc.”, those qualities are not my mirror – they do however make me VERY aware to never be that way towards anyone, even though I am not. In the past, I had a tenancy to become irritable easily over simple things and quick to react, stress VERY hard and give myself so much anxiety over situations that really aren’t that big of a deal, wouldn’t let go/practice non-attachment very easily with simple things, etc. Watching her in moments such as those, really spoke to me. Where I once saw little nuisances as an “end all be all”, I learned that I’ve witnessed someone doing that constantly with things that of course in the end would be fine. It stressed me out watching her go through these extreme ups and downs that were not even necessary to go through at all. I went from being an easily filled with anxiety person, to much more calm, knowing/seeing it never helps any situation. But it took me really witnessing this on a daily basis of someone else, to learn. And for that, I am thankful.