You don’t have any regrets about cutting off your parents?

No, I think I understand Lucy. Are you saying that while you respect your parents and recognise them as fallible human beings, but it’s better for the both of you if you don’t speak? And thank you, I feel like I’m more in control of my life than I’ve ever been, but like India.Arie says “Be careful what you do or say, you gotta live with it everyday”, and it’s really hard to stay true to yourself sometimes.

Well Eliana, like I’ve said before my parents have a legitimate grievance most of the time but it’s the way they go about it (and also, as I’ve said, I must take some of the responsibility too.) I also don’t think they are bad people. What my Dad actually said was “I will kill you if you ever say you’re gay again”, and I understand what you mean by talking it out Eliana, but this all happened 3 and a half years ago, and my Dad has barely budged on the issue since then. He’s either in denial or has said he “disagrees with it”, which I understand but I don’t want to have a relationship with someone who thinks that way. As I’ve also said in my previous post, I angrily brought up the fact that, when my Dad was emotionally abusing me, I was tired of being spoken to like dirt. I understand that I said this harshly, but his response was to slap me, kick me in the back of my legs. I then said something else and he slapped me across the face another 2 times and asked me if I was trying to get on his nerves, or something to that effect. The reason he threatened me when I was outed was because the gay thing disgusted him, not because I had done something to anger him. Then there was them almost putting me into foster care during the week that my Mum had outed me and forced me to log into my Facebook to see who was “influencing me to be gay.”

I appreciate your input, but at this point I just feel like the sooner I am living on my own the better. I don’t really feel close to either of them, and oftentimes, when they have said something that has ticked me off, it’s more of my ego saying “Why can’t I say something back” than “These people are supposed to care about me and what they have said contradicts that.” My siblings have attempted to talk to my parents over the years about grievances they’ve had (most recently, my sister posting a status about feeling “underappreciated” by Mum and Dad, who bring up my other 2 siblings who have cut them off completely when talking about chores, even though they have a very “They’ll learn someday” attitude towards them) and no, this was not the most mature way to express her feelings, but my Mum seems to get defensive regardless and posted 3 comments about how my Sister hasn’t grown up at all, that she’ll learn someday etc. A lot of the stuff I currently take issue with when it comes to my parents would probably become a distant memory if I was away from them.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Myles.

Thank you Anita. I’m just gets on my tite when my sister says that I should try more with them when she herself as cut them off at least once and has told me she went through similar things with them growing up, including almost being disowned by the both of them for her sexual orientation. I feel a similar bitterness when my friends tell me what great relationships they have with their parents because the last time I had a good relationship with my Dad was when I was 7-8 years old, and my relationship with my Mum has only deteriorated when I was 14, and I believe it started when my Mum outed me to my Dad, but about 6 months after this happened, my older sister Naomi (who no longer speaks to Mum or Dad) felt that I was blaming Mum a little too much for what happens (I felt as though I was equally angry at both of them to be honest, but my Mum isn’t responsible for how my Dad reacted to the news, but she didn’t have any problems making me log into my Facebook account to see who was “influencing me to be gay” and had co signed me  almost being put into foster care. She also tries to excuse my Dad’s actions during the week I was outed by mentioning that he had come to hospital with me before and during my surgery, and tells me that I need to cut him slack because of this.) I still try to take responsibility for my feelings as much as I can though, even my bitterness and even my aversion to getting too close to people.