Sassy,

I know how unsettling it can be to stand at a crossroad with confusion, and I’m sorry that your mind has been so spinny. You’re already on your way toward happiness, and whatever decision you make won’t change that. One of my teachers wisely said that its OK to follow your desire, just do it mindfully. The unhealthy falls away, because that which brings us pain is noticed and abandoned. Its OK to jump, just do it with your eyes open!

Consider that when we are kind, gentle and patient with ourselves we are able to live more clearly from the heart, and follow our path with grace. There is no split, no polarity between living and loving. As you continue to self nurture, love becomes the energy which moves you through life. Don’t give in to the ex-boyfriends psychological abuse “you’ll end up worse off without me.” That’s hogwash. You’re learning, opening your mind and heart, and that makes all the difference. Its quite normal to cower a bit after being told we’re no good, but that is just fear… shadows of old voices which tried to keep us controlled. Its OK to just notice the fear there and let it pass through.

Are you hoping to get back with the ex? You said you made some decisions that made it hard to get back together, and you don’t want that to happen again. Are you trying to stay available for him? Consider that either way, not dating right now is about you, about letting your heart heal, and has nothing to do with anyone else. As you patiently heal, what to do next becomes more and more clear… the heart makes one of the paths glow. Its OK to set aside walking down any of them until that happens.

Sometimes we can be afraid we’re going to miss out on our chance at joy. As though there is one tree with the fruit on it that holds the key to our peace and happiness. This just isn’t the case. As we bloom (such as working through codependency patterns and healing from an ex) and keep walking, the world blooms around us… and the chances at happiness are bountiful. Said differently, date, not date, ex, not ex, friendly, romantic… those don’t matter as much as keeping the tender shoots of self love growing. Its that self love which keeps the world sparkling, not boys that come in and out of our view.

Have you been self nurturing? That’s the key. Namaste sister, I wish you love and light.

With warmth,
Matt

Sassy,

What makes his financial instability your concern? Said differently, perhaps put down the checklist and just let yourself go play. Stay true and honest, and let the future bloom.

Congrats on a soulful connection! Those are awesome, wherever they lead. Beware of wanting to go faster because of his interest in you, other than that, the only difference between stuck and free in inside your head and heart. Your story, your rules. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt

Sassy,

Sometimes the universe helps us see that as we cross certain thresholds, there is no going back, only forward. The way I interpret your situation is you have moved along with the new man far enough that your heart is really starting to bloom with him. That’s great! So, the universe is giving you an opportunity for closure with the ex, if you want it. There is no “right” answer, there is only your heart and what you choose to do with it.

Energetically, I say with hesitation, its possible that you’ve moved your heart’s pouring from the ex to the new man, which might be being felt by the ex… so he’s reaching out to try to get it back… get fed so to speak. Remember its not important to respond to him for his sake, only if its for yours. As you listen close to your heart, perhaps it is sassy who deserves the warm and loving attention of your heart. Said differently, you say you dont want to talk to the ex, but you fear its only because of the new blooming. So what? Trust how it fits together, and your own desire here and now. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt