Matt,

I’m sorry for the fear you’re experiencing, and can understand why it is unnerving to talk to strangers. You never really know what might happen, and jumping into the unknown can be scary. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

New beginnings are almost always awkward, and especially new friendships. This naturally produces uncertainty, which can lead to fear. If you can accept “yes there is fear, yes there will be some awkwardness” then perhaps you can find your courage. Consider that courage only arises in the presence of fear, and it is the strength inside us that moves us to act anyway. That you feel awkward and uncertain is normal, usual, and happens to almost all of us. So what?

Next, perhaps you could find a group that shares an interest. Most campuses have many different types, from social activism to the arts, and meeting people through those might relieve some of the fear. People like to have friends, and if those friends have things in common, all the better. You might be surprised at how many people are longing for genuine connection.

Also, consider approaching your loneliness directly. Often the feeling of disconnectedness can arise when we haven’t been nurturing our bodies well. Perhaps you could go on walks in lovely surroundings, take time to see the beauty inside you, listen to gentle music. One activity I find very nourishing in this way is metta meditation. If you search YouTube for “guided metta meditation” you’ll find lots of great methods, I highly recommend it.

Don’t despair, Matt, the feelings you’re having are incredibly common. It takes time to figure out who we are and how to connect, but with some practice and effort the isolation erodes. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt

Hi Matt,

Don.t desperate, as they said , your feelings are pretty common, but it.s important that we connect with ourselves and know who we are, learn to love ourselves to feel good and complete even though when we.re alone. otherwise we can.t have healthy relationships. don.t jump into a relationship to don.t feel alone, you have to,learn that it.s ok to be alone and feel good.

When you feel,better then it.s the time when you.re ready to open to a more intimate relationship, meanwhile, if you feel like to meet new people , take a step everyday, go to places or groups with similar interest and little by little try to say a simple :-hi, how are you- . just be natural .breath and believe you can do it.
Have a great day and look up the good things you.re and the blessings around you.