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Crush: Should I tell him?

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Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • March 8, 2015 at 9:56 pm #73711
    sheldon cooper
    Participant

    Hello StraightNoChaser,

    Congratulations on making progress with your professional life. My initial reaction was “NO” since you are in the same work space with this crush, because it might cause awkwardness between you and this guy if he rejects you. After reading through the rest of your letter I’m still going to say no to confessing. First even if he and the Gf has has broken up, he’d still need time to process things and work on himself before moving on to another “relation”, I’m guessing that’s where you want this to end up if ever you confess and he says he likes you too. Now regarding your fear of not getting another chance, I am assuming that you too are friends so you must have each other’s numbers perhaps or you’re FB friends from your statement “sometimes I swear he is into me and I am very sensitive to energies and I can detect tension between us” I think you communicate/interact with each other. So when he’s ready and he realizes he likes you enough to make a move, he’ll make it happen. I suggest you just continue working on yourself for now and continue making progress with your professional life. 🙂

    March 8, 2015 at 10:34 pm #73712
    StraightNoChaser
    Participant

    Hi,

    Thanks for your reply. A little late though lol. I ended up telling him and he is in fact in a relationship. Its fine though he was really sweet about it and I feel a bit better living in reality lol. I’m not going to lie it sucks but I’ve been here before and I admire my courage for doing something I was afraid to do. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am excited for these next steps in my career. I leave that job in 3 weeks and onward and upwards. Trying to make myself feel better.

    March 9, 2015 at 2:52 am #73724
    Will
    Participant

    I’m glad you stepped over your fear. I would have advised you to tell him and take the chance.

    It’s ok that this one didn’t work out. Now you know that you can overcome your fear and take risks like these, and the world doesn’t end. You did well. I’m sure you’ll have better luck in the future.

    March 9, 2015 at 6:44 am #73733
    StraightNoChaser
    Participant

    Thanks Will! That was really nice to read as I was starting to regret my decision. I’m glad to hear you thought it was a good idea. I am taking it a bit hard. I guess after getting the same results no matter the approach takes a toll on someone. I’m going to take maybe a week or two to feel the hurt then try and pick myself back up. Definitely won’t be dating or talking to anyone for a while. My natural reaction is to retreat and I’ve already been pretty anti social maybe I need the opposite. I’ve had a string of bad luck this past year with dating too. I’m like a lion: i stake out my prey and then slowly make my move. Maybe I’m a little too methodical. I just like to really access the person I’m attracted to before I jump into anything. I always seem to miss the fact they are dating someone lol, maybe that’s what I like about them: They are nice to me,don’t try to hit on me, listen to what I’m actually saying, I feel comfortable. I guess most guys who are interested don’t behave in that way or I don’t know I guess. I think what I can take away from this as much as it hurts, is to just come right out with it from the start. If I like someone ask them out. It I meet someone attractive find out right away if they are dating someone. Don’t wait too long, go after what you want right from the start. I feel maybe I am too hard on myself when I like someone, I wait for them to approach me while showing no signs of any attraction. Oh well now I’m just rambling. It will be a hard week but he is a sweet guy, so hopefully he will make this transition easy on me. Thanks again Will.

    March 16, 2015 at 11:47 pm #74015
    sheldon cooper
    Participant

    Hi StraightNoChaser,

    I kinda new you would, I guess that’s better, so you wont have any regrets. I like your analogy about being a lion, but maybe you can change that, instead of being a lion staking out your prey and then slowly making a move you can focus on feeling like a lion. You know… The king of the jungle, strong, courageous, brave. Your on the right track, focus first on your career and yourself, once you become that lion everything will follow.

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