Jane,

I’m sorry for the painfulness you’re experiencing, and I think you’re great for dedicating such energy to the well being of living creatures. That you’re seeking to restore your own balance, your own peace of mind… its not selfish, its needed. There is a balance that we have to find between become stable and yet not burying our head in the sand. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

Consider that perhaps what you’re experiencing isn’t compassion, but empathy. Empathy is the emotional vibration of painfulness or pleasantness that arises inside us as we watch the emotional states of others. Its is good to have a strong empathy, but it is also important to have boundaries.

Compassion looks and feels a little different. As you watch a company and person skin an animal for instance, compassion arises as you recognize that the actions are producing suffering for all. The person skinning is generating karma from his ignorance, as he or she blinds the empathic eye to be able to do such a thing. The animal suffers from the confusion and panic arising along side the painfulness. The people who eat the meat of the animal help fund and institutionalize the process. Compassion is the well rooted sense that investing our energy in such enterprises just doesn’t make sense, and is well balanced for all beings involved with the actions. When empathy is stronger than compassion, sometimes we can over extend our focus onto the direct physical painfulness, such as the skinning, and produce pity. Pity is not helpful.

It sounds to me that you’re experiencing emotional fatigue, perhaps even burnout. Its good that you wish to press into the bowels of the world and help right wrongs. However, it is more important, or at least equally important, to grow your peacefulness deeply. Your experience with tonglen is a great example of why. As you breathed in the suffering of the animals, ideally the breath collides with the crystal web of warmth inside your chest and evaporates, and your out breath carries with it love and peacefulness. However, for you it seems as though it “stuck” inside, like mud being thrown on a white shirt… until it grew heavy.

I highly suggest that you move toward a metta practice, and stop watching videos of animals being tortured. Perhaps if you become complacent and lazy, watching a video will rekindle your motivation to help humanity shed such practices. If you already have that motivation, then what benefit does entertaining yourself in such a way provide you? Isn’t the suffering of the skinner and skinned enough? You’ve noticed that your voyeurism is producing even more pain for the world in the retching within your heart… its OK to do something else with your time.

Its not selfish to do so, its wise. Consider the net energy balance of the world. As you turn away from the videos, your body will become warm again, flowing with love and light. This increases the amount of love and light in the world, which helps move you and all who empathize with you toward joy. If you spend time absorbing and watching painfulness, your body is suicidal and depressed, which doesn’t help you or those around you find peace. This is why respecting suffering and yet having wise boundaries is so important.

For instance, say we see someone with a broken ankle. We can sit down and stare at it, really feeling the painfulness and brokenness of the ankle. Our heart focuses so intently that we begin to feel our own ankle hurting. Now, instead of one ankle being unprepared to carry the weight, there are two. Where you could have been someone to lean on for support, now you and the other need supporting! Now, the ankle has to be tended by four beings instead of two! The one broken, the one to support her, you, and the one needed to support you.

The shift toward metta is what allows our heart to become resilient. I would say that it increases compassion, but not directly. It increases our inner warmth, and smooths out our mind. We become free from greed, hatred, and aversion. Metta is more about kindness, friendship. Being able to work with others in a way that is mutually nourishing and respectful… knowing that that is how the world moves toward joy. Not through hate and judgment, but through peace and understanding. Namaste.

With warmth,
Matt

ImaginativeMe,

I can understand how deeply the suffering of others can impact us, and agree our collective home needs a good scrubbing. Consider that cultivating happiness within yourself is not selfish or self cherishing, rather it honors the suffering of others by increasing the light and love in the world. For instance, if we see a war veteran that lost her legs, it wouldn’t honor her to chop off our own. Rather, we could strengthen our own legs so if she asks us for a push we are prepared to give it. Namaste, friend, you have the heart of a bodhisattva!

With warmth,
Matt

PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals 🙂

In all seriousness, sometimes culls are necessary. The deer population exploded in my area. The predictable population crash happened with deer stacked up like chord wood around watering holes because of the extreme thirst caused by bleeding to death internally from “blue tongue.” Biting gnats spread it like wildfire.

Dear Jane. I fully understand as i have been in the process of « opening my eyes » to the unreal cruelty towards animals with articles, videos, documentaries, etc. The process of « exiting denial completely » is extremely painful, as you end up exhausted by the amout and extent of cruelty AND how essentially very few people care enough to bother pondering where that bacon / hamburger / etc comes from… on top of this « indirect cruelty through denial of reality », there is the pain felt about « why / how » these cruel people exist and sleep at night… it is a heavy burden to carry…

But in the end, you must deeply ponder and live by the very wise words of the saying: « O Lord give me the courage to change what must change, the strength to accept what i cannot, and the wisdom to tell the difference. »

You will not eradicate cruelty from this world. Not now and not within your lifetime. Nobody will. But each little contribution will eradicate cruelty in the long run. A typical human and animal lives less than 1 second in cosmic time. The Universe is 15 billion years. Earth is 5 billion years. There are at least 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 planets in our Universe. We come to Earth like those flies that live 24 hours… let go!! Without denial… letting go is NOT denial, and is also NOT inaction. If you want to help animals and humans, do it, yes, by all means, get invilved and make that small difference… from a place of love. And i know that part is incredibly hard, because when you become very aware and informed, you tend to hate humans and humanity, because the supply of cruelty, cynicism, and apathetic denial seems to dwarf everything that shines… it seems that way, but it’s not quite like that…

Social norms have evolved a great deal. 5000 years ago, slavery was very standard. 2000 years ago, walking the streets of Rome and seeing fields of people crucified and being eaten alive by birds was standard. 300 years ago in the USA you could buy humans on an open market and dispose of them as you wanted. 70 years ago, people were « dry castrated » in UK for being gay and women could not vote… these are all things that have been eradicated.

I grant you that all these great improvements did not much extend to animals, but it is starting to make its way…

You needed to become aware and « confront reality » and the « cold facts. » ok: mission accomplished. Now, it is time to help yourself by shining again, which will help others, including animals. Get involved with animals rights if you want, but remember the big big BIG picture, remember that you are not helping animals or changing anything by watching videos of cruelty… the people doing these acts are lost and blind. We are clueless about the grand mystery of life and why all this cruelty is there. We just don’t know. Maybe we (you and i) were the cruelest animal and people torturers in another life and now we are feeling the need for purification? Who knows!

Add a lantern to the darkness in the world by shining with love, knowledge, and compassion… for all humans, all animals… all life… and yes remain in « action and reality », but at the same time… « let go »… regards. P.

I found this post after googling How to Cope with the Suffering of Animals. A midnight search after waking in pain about the hunting of whales.  I have recently been to watch the beautiful humpbacks in Iceland so when I read about the hunts I was immediately connected to the suffering and the pain.  And didn’t know how to calm myself. I didn’t want to numb myself or turn away but such a reaction isn’t helping anyone.

Thank you so much to Jane for asking the original question and to Matt for his incredible and wise answer.

I don’t think I have ever understood so clearly the difference between empathy and compassion.  Of course because I am extra connected with the whales after my holiday, the empathy route is more open than ever. Just as when my friend had a new baby, her empathy connection with other babies and their cries was extra strong.

It is good to be empathic and helps in so many ways but of course it needs managing – boundaries and conscious work to keep it from overwhelming me

Compassion on the other hand is for all beings – the hunter and the hunted.

Amazing and powerful post. Thank you all for contributing and for clarifying something deeply important to me.

Best wishes to you all

Kate

I am so very thankful to Jane for starting this conversation and for Tiny Buddha for keeping this post running. Similar to Kate, I stumbled upon this thread while searching how to deal with the suffering of others/animals. I do animal rights education/activism and have found it difficult to function or be active right now bc I don’t know how to cope with the suffering of all the animals at our mercy that we hurt for no reason.

So grateful for this post and for Matt and others here who speak to this topic to assist others experiencing this.  It has been so helpful to find this and to learn better how to manage. My sincerest of thanks and gratitude. I will return to this or print it out so I can look over it again and again.