Home→Forums→Tough Times→Coping with re-homing my dog due to unforeseen circumstances
- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 7 months ago by
Midnight.
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September 24, 2016 at 3:11 am #116123
Midnight
ParticipantDear dreaming715,
I understand how hard this is for you. When we adopt an animal it becomes like part of ourselves. Some people don’t understand this but I always felt so attached to animals I had and sadder to lose them than I would have felt about some humans I know, just because they are always there with you and you are responsible for them, this creates a very strong attachment.
In what you told I see you went through some difficult things recently, a break-up and a move and also your mom’s issues, even though you’re not close to her, this is probably affecting you in some way. I believe that giving up on Butters might hold more meaning to you than “just” losing your beloved dog (as painful as that is in itself). Because you adopted him with your ex in a time when you were happy together. From your story it seems that you are a very strong person who managed to get back on her feet quickly and fix the immediate problems arising from this new situation, you had to be tough and strong, and maybe Butter is kind of a soft spot for you which makes it that much harder to let go of him. Maybe it is hard to give him up because by doing that you are somehow re-living the breakup in a way?
I believe you already know it will be best for him to go live with your friend, it sounds like she can offer him a great life. I think you should focus on what’s best for him (as I know you are), and remember you are not abandoning him in some animal shelter, you are doing the best thing you can do for him. And I’m sure you’ll be able to see him any time you want and get news of him whenever you miss him.
You are such an awesome person for making this choice for your dog and I’m sure in time you’ll adopt another dog and make him happy too.
September 24, 2016 at 9:35 am #116145Anonymous
GuestDear dreaming715:
Reads to me that having Butter adopted by the family friend is the best choice for Butter.
As far as coping with re-homing Butter, it can help if you ask his new owner if you can call her for updates about Butter; if she can send you photos once in a while and if you can visit Butter when you are around. This way your relationship with Butter will be ongoing, the separation not complete and final.
anita
September 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm #116223dreaming715
ParticipantThank you both for your helpful responses!
Midnight: You said I was perhaps re-living the break-up in a way. I think you’re correct. I do associate Butters with my ex-fiance and it feels similar to the time we were breaking up and I had to bring him up north to live with my mom. Thank you for stating that you think I sound like a strong person. Sometimes I lose sight of this. Your reply to my post had a lot of reassuring words in it.
Anita: That’s very true, I think she would be open to sending me pictures or updates of him. Then I can find solace in the fact that he’s living a good stable, life. I think in my heart I would feel good about this deep down.
September 25, 2016 at 2:33 pm #116225Midnight
ParticipantDear dreaming715,
I’m glad my response helped a bit. I think that what you are doing for your dog is great and maybe will even bring you a bit of closure in a way, about what happened with your breakup. I hope it will. It will be a kind and unselfish action at any rate, that’s for sure.
I wish you and Butters all the best:) -
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