Dear everyone,

I am devoted husband and provide my family a good life. I used to think that provide shelter and foods to family is my duty as the husband.

However last year on august, my wife for past 8 years filed a divorce due to my unreasonable behaviour. During the pre-divorce, all the lies that she have told me that I did not care for her instead of accuse me about physical abuse that i have done to her and did not provide support her during our marriage. And she have persisted me to sign the divorce paper and gave her total control of my house and my beloved children. I was shocked at time and did not how to do. At that time, I have done wrong and question myself that it was entirely my fault. However, with support from my family and friends, I wake up from self-pity and blame myself.

And I thinking to myself that my ex-wife is not same women that first time fall in love. She had changed after our marriage. We met during we studies for my degree, she was from China and working in canteen.  During my interaction with her, I fell in love to her and she was my soulmate. She was 17 year younger than me. I apply visa for her to stay and we get married after 1 month. During 3 year, it was my happiest in my life. We laughed and share joy each other. When first child is born, we are happy. Then our second child after 1 year my first child was born.

After my second child was born, things started to changed. I did not noticed at time until now. She have behaved different. She will said bad thing to me and did not respect me. She will say that I did not enough money to support her and did not provide support to her. I have support financially and emotionally  for her study so she can improve herself during her stayed with me.

And after my children were born, I helping to care in weekday and weekend. She always thinking making more money and seldom help to care the children. However I did not said anything because it is my duty as father.

In final stage of divorce, she have told her lawyer that she will have shared care and control of our children. And she will not fight for my house.

Can everyone help me to understand why someone like me, who did not smoke, drink and caring father and husband have to go through such pain?  During first and second month when she filed divorce, I felt depressed. Everyday was like a big wall for me to climb. I did not understand why someone can do this and say to him that she did not love him anymore. She told me that she never love me. This is very devastating to me. Why she did not told me earlier? Why now?

And last week, I saw her with another man when she send back the children to my home after 9 month she filed divorce. I felt angry and sad. But i look in my children eyes and I think they can see my sadness too. Thus I keep telling myself to stand up and move on for my children’s sake. What kind of person can do this to ex-husband and family ?

Best Regard,

Keanu