Hey Yukiohimura11,

Way to go reaching out for help, it’s a big step even! If you are looking for advice, here’s a few things that might help you:

First the most important thing is to get into therapy (if you haven’t already done so) to discover the reasons behind your depression. Once you’re there, be totally honest with yourself and your therapist, if you hold back you may never get to the bottom of what’s causing you to have attacks.

Second, you said that you’ve been depressed since as far back as you can remember. You should ask yourself why, what are/were the circumstances around you that set off depressed feelings. I’m guessing something very bad happened when you were younger that is causing you pain still so you should go back to find out what that is.

Keep a journal of your thoughts. Fill it with writing prompts that ask you to look inwardly (you can find a lot of those online), fill it with your stream of consciousness, and fill it with things that inspire you to keep moving forward.

Check out “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, it’s a book that can turn your whole world around if you let it.

And keep writing here. You’ve been fighting alone for a long time it seems, but everyone here is fighting the same battle so you are not alone!

Cheers and good luck,

M

P.S. virtual hug+

Hello,

You are not alone in your battle, you were not born depressed, you are not ‘doomed’ with a lifetime of depression, trust me!!.. Yes, it can be healed, and it will be, especially if you want it! There are lot of people on this forum (including me) that have dealt with depression, and successfully overcame it. Somewhere in the background of your mind there is a reason that stands behind it… somewhere in the front of your mind there is a ‘chemistry’ generated by that background. You can deal with both. Counseling, medication (but just as temporary ‘help’), spirituality, change of lifestyle. It seems like a long way ahead, i know, but it is not. You will see results fast.

I would gladely suggest finding a counselor first. When you are sensitive, I know you look for advice and help from people in order to just feel better as fast as you can. The thing is, sometimes ‘common’ people can’t help you as much as they wish to.. and not just that. They can even say something that will be even hurtful while you are sensitive. Also it takes much more that the space that internet offers in order to get to know someone well and their problem . I know I was like this when I was dealing with difficulties. I learned the hard way, that sometimes reading day and night about your issue, browsing through other’s people stories, talking about your problem with friends constantly, while you still feel distressed and down… It just made things worse for me. Having one good professional on your side can be more beneficial than all of this. If it doesn’t help, try another doctor…

Yoga, meditation and spirituality were great help for me when I was dealing with depression. I must admit that I am not that ‘dedicated’ as i would love to, I neglect this kind of lifestyle easily. But whenever I have problem, I go back and it brings a lot of relief.

And I like to ask- what do you think about regular exercise? I know it’s something people would ‘read it helps’ and occasionally skip it. As someone who suffered from both anxiety and depression, I can tell you that this was the only thing that i felt could bring some immediate relief. Better than medication even, sometimes (just my experience, again !)

Stay strong, you’re gonna make it, the will to do that is the best ‘fuel’ you can ask for.

I am also sending you a lot of ‘good vibes’, and I hope you will post again about your progress.

The catalyst that affects your mood,is not localised.Your brain, is not the only organ that has a serious impact on mood.I suggest STRONGLY you read the GAPS diet.
Natasha Cambell McBride.Find her on You tube.Worked wonders for me, Plus you lose fat too!