Hello, I’m not sure if this is the category to post this…

I feel like I really need to work on my self confidence, just writing the first sentence “I’m not sure if…” Is a bit of an indicator.

Lately I have been having a lot of anxiety because I’m always second guessing the appropriateness of my actions/thoughts/feelings.
Through therapy I have realized some implicit social codes fly past me…or rather, sometimes I don’t stop to consider others, not out of meanness or selfishness but because I simply didn’t think to do it. It’s hard for me to explain. Maybe with an example: when we get together with friends I very seldom offered to do something, be it washing the dishes, or pouring tea for everyone. It’s something I’m not used to do because of the way I’ve been raised, and also because I believe that if someone wants me to do something then they’ll simply ask me to do it. Well, apparently most people don’t function like me…or at least my friends don’t, which isn’t really a problem. The problem is that I started to realize my attitude annoyed them (to a varying degree) because some of them were acting a bit passive-aggressive towards me. Then I asked, what was the problem and found out some of them viewed my lack of initiative as a lack of care towards them (which I understand). I explained it wasn’t that I didn’t care, etc, that I had a “problem”, that I wasn’t used to express my love and appreciation in that way, and have been making efforts and taking action to be more attentive in general. Which I think is a positive thing. However, now I feel like I’m always watchful of my behavior, of what I feel and think. For instance, in a disagreement with a friend I’m always second guessing myself, even when I feel they are being inconsiderate, or when I don’t agree with them. I’m always thinking: Am I seeing this “correctly” (as in am I interpreting more or less the same thing), am I overreacting, is what I’m feeling appropriate? Especially the last part: are my feelings appropriate?

I feel like since I “admitted” to myself and friends that I have a tendency to be socially inappropriate I’m constantly unsure of myself, and sometimes I feel like some of them use this to their own “advantage”, like they expect to be right, or they expect I would agree with them and if I don’t then it’s because I’m the one with a problem. This is only my mind running in circles and I know I should address this personally…the thing is who would acknowledge such a claim?

Sometimes I feel like I’m responsible for any conflict, thinking I’m wrong someway, inappropriate. It usually happens when I disagree with someone, not necessarily because we have different beliefs or opinions, but because I feel differently too. This doesn’t lead to me conceding every point in a debate but I do feel very anxious about it.

So my question is…how can I be more confident in what I effectively feel/think/know? I think it’s positive to question ourselves, as in not think we’re right, or that our beliefs are THE truth…but how do I work towards asserting something is MY truth and that it should be respected as such? How do I stop second guessing myself excessively?

Thank you, and I hope this makes sense (English is not my first language so sometimes things get lost in translation).