Thanks Anita

The emotions I’m dealing with now are anger and pain relating to the relationship with my parents. I have had a few girlfriends who have been supportive over the years but I guess the pain of this emotionally abusive set up I have whilst living at home is causing me suffering. The energy in the household is unbearable and I feel is actually making me physically sick.

I have such limited control over my life because I feel dependent on their love at the moment. I know once I surpass this then I will be confident in confronting the emotionally abusive relationship they have but until then I’m going to show myself up.

I feel like I have been grieving their deaths of sorts but how do I move on?

Best wishes,

Ben

Hi

So yes, their relationship is emotionally abusive, my dad manipulates my mum into doing everything for him and manipulating her love for him. Which makes me feel sick.

Then they are emotionally abusive to me also (especially my mum), so as part of the family unit as I think I mentioned prior I feel scapegoated as my feelings are not listened to, cared for or anything. This makes me feel like I have no support and have kind of lost and had my mum caring for me over the years.

Yes, not as much as I used to, in fact now you ask the question, barely at all I feel. I can be alone just fine, but I am financially dependent on them at the moment. They are bringing in the financial dependency into the relationship dynamic which again is emotional abuse to me. I feel numb writing this to be honest. More like I’m writing it about someone else.

Best wishes

Ben

Hi VJ,

Thanks a lot for your in-depth response. I have always been meaning to respond to you with a proper resonse once I’ve taken on board what you’ve said.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling and being with the inner body and I am physically in discomfort and have been for a while. I guess it is the emotional distress I have been through over the last several years…? The physical discomfort also exists in my brain, it feels like frustration at not knowing and being unable to feel peace or inner calmness. But the pain is physical.

Do you know how I can relieve myself of this? I suffer from chronic fatigue/exhaustion almost constantly, only now am I becoming aware of just how exhausted I am/have been.