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Confused/Scared About Following My Gut, Going Home

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  • July 5, 2017 at 10:38 am #156500
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    I do need more understanding of your mind and situation, therefore I repeat some of the information I understand (correct me if I am incorrect) and ask a question:

    When you recently lived in Maine, which you refer to as home (New England), you had a job there and a girlfriend. When your mother died in Maine, you left Maine/New England, home, and moved back to Colorado.

    Distressed by your mother’s sooner-than-expected death, you did not find comfort at home. You found comfort in Colorado, away from home. Why do you think that is?

    anita

    July 5, 2017 at 12:08 pm #156522
    Jack
    Participant

    One reason I’m sure of is that I was still getting “set up” in Boston, meaning that I had only been there a couple months and hadn’t built a strong social network yet. In Colorado, although it turns out that most of us have drifted apart in the course of our lives, I at least had/have some friends from my college days and thereabouts. I suppose more than anything I felt very isolated and without a support network.

    July 6, 2017 at 5:23 am #156594
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    In your original post you wrote: “I’ve also been suffering from extreme homesickness since moving to Denver… it isn’t home; New England is where my roots are…I’m just extremely homesick”

    Yet, when your mother died, in Maine, while you were living in Boston (correct?), your automatic reaction, it seems, was to run away from New England (your home) to Denver. If New England is home, be it Boston or Maine, why did you run away from home when distressed?

    I am asking this because I think of home as the place/people where one finds comfort. Yet when you needed comfort most, you ran away from home.

    anita

    July 6, 2017 at 7:31 am #156628
    Jack
    Participant

    Thank you for the insight! I’ll need to do some more cogitating on it; while I had plenty of support back in Maine, circumstances (read: financial necessity) required that I return to Boston for work, with the attendant lack of social network. It’s also worth noting that I didn’t find a lot of support when I came back to Denver; from a few people, sure, but most of us had quite naturally gone our separate ways and drifted apart. It’s a very common problem, I think, assuming things don’t change much when you have distance to muddy your vision.

    July 6, 2017 at 7:42 am #156630
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    The title of your thread is “Confused/scared about following my gut, going home”- often people, when distressed,  long for what they experienced as children, those hopes and dreams and sometimes-feelings of intoxicating safety that the child experienced in the surroundings of his childhood. Problem is, the way a child feels, the safety, euphoria of safety, of hopes and dreams, these cannot be duplicated in adulthood, not here, not there, not anywhere.

    And so, a “gut feeling” may be misleading.

    I hope you post again with more of your thoughts and feelings.

    anita

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