If this helps at all – I agree totally that you have every right to feel the way you do. But for now, it might be best to not initiate contact. Focus on yourself, and your baby, because you can do nothing to change his behavior. He’s an adult.

I was in a very similar position, if it helps to hear the experience of others. I got unexpectedly pregnant from a short-term relationship, and the father was not all that involved, by his own decision. I struggled with much of what you’re feeling, both during the pregnancy and after. There was a great deal of pain and anger. What helped me was to surround myself with people who were supportive (this was a very short list, at the time) and also with other single parents, so that I could talk to them and figure out my own situation. The hardest part was learning to separate my emotions from the relationship between my daughter and her father. Like it or not, in many ways having a child with someone is more of a commitment than a marriage – you are tied, legally, to this person for the rest of your life.

Some things to think on: what are your expectations of him? Is he clear on those expectations? And are they reasonable, considering you two are not a couple?

Well I’m glad to know that you can do it on your own. I’ve been where you are at and it is scary and confusing. If you can get in to see a counselor, it might help you sort things out. All the best to you, you seem like a really smart and lovely young lady. Don’t settle for less than you deserve, which is the best!

I know what you mean, sometimes you just have to put it down. The only way you can change a man is if he’s wearing a diaper HA!

Hi Sierra,
It is great to know to took the step in seeking help for yourself. That is very wise and brave thing to do. I totally get where you are coming from. Also keep in mind that you can’t hold on to hoping he will do what you want him to do. If he truly loves you and the baby, he will be willing to do it on his own. Your feelings are validated. Use that energy towards bettering your situation emotionally, mentally and physically. I am trying to do the same here. You will hit some road blocks but don’t let that get you down. The harder you work on being better, the rewards are greater. Nobody can take away that power you posses unless you give them the power. Stay strong.