I feel very confused all the time about the life choice I have made and choices that I know I need to make now. I moved to another country 1 year ago with my partner, and in this time I have come to realise that I am not happy here. I feel that my options are limited in terms of career prospects, there are many things I would like to do but I always come up against a barrier- mainly in that what I want to do takes time, and I know that I do not want to carry my chosen profession on in another country. If I commit to further education and then work experience where I am currently it will be at least 3 years that I am here.

This is conflicting with what I know my partner needs/wants. I know that this is exactly the place that he will be successful in his dreams, I can see how well he will do here and I am completely behind him on this. But he will not leave, and I would never ask him to, so I can’t do the thing I know in my heart I want to do, for fear of leaving the one man I know is a really decent human being. He knows what I feel about being here and he knows I’m unhappy, he does everythig he can to try to help me, but he doesn’t understand that I know deep down this isn’t the place for me.

We have been through so much together, and I do have the courage to do what I feel I should do, however I’m terrified that if I do that, I will be leaving someone I will regret leaving and never get back. I feel totally torn in two, and very confused and I am constantly trying to think of other professions and career paths I could go down in this country/even another country that is a compramise, but I still know they are not right for me. On the other hand, what if I’m wrong about this profession I have my heart set on, what if I start and realise Ive made a huge mistake and our relationship has already ended.

I am also 30 this year, and feel tonnes of pressure to have children in the next few years, and i really do want children, but Im terrified that if I keep changing my mind about life then I will miss my chance. I have noticed that other people are much more decisive then I am and appear to be more sucessful in their life choices.

To be honest, I dont expect many solid answers to this, but it would be great to hear others experience of similar situations. Thanks for reading.