That sounds really scary. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I’ve had my share of issues, and I’d recommend maybe tracking what you eat and drink, what meds/supplements you take and the dose, how much exercise you get, how many hours you sleep (and when you go to sleep and wake up), and any major emotional things that happen (bad or good) every day for maybe 3-4 weeks to see if you can see any patterns. There could be things you don’t think about that could be affecting your mood, like caffeine or alcohol or cigarettes, getting more or less sleep or exercise, certain foods, or even seeing or interacting with certain people, that might affect your mood. Even if you don’t see a pattern, you may decide to go see a therapist at some point, and the information might be helpful. There are even smartphone apps where you can track things pretty easily. Good luck!
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