Hi Secret,

It sounds to me like you want to grow more and that you need to leave to do that. California sounds like a very safe space for you and yet your energy on entering this program seems pretty low.

What’s holding you back? Fear.. of?

Ask yourself ‘what if’?

What if you didn’t apply? What would you do with your time? Visualise what experiences you might have, explore those ideas, and allow yourself to imagine it.

What if you did apply, and then got a place? How would that feel? Are your doubts coming from a fear of not being accepted for the program?

What if you didn’t apply, and spent a year travelling or exploring or growing, and then decided you wanted to go to graduate school after all? Would that be so terrible? Might your experiences during that time be incredibly valuable, and make you a more mature, more grounded, more rounded person? Might they even increase the chances of you getting into graduate school or your eventual chosen career? Because you’re more mature, and you KNOW that’s what you want to do?

I have a question for you to answer here too, if you don’t mind, because I think it’s relevant to any advice you might get:

How essential is it, for the future that you ultimately want, that you do this graduate program? Especially if it doesn’t interest you?

Hi Secret, it sound to me like you are in a comfort zone and that is why you are reluctant to leave, that and fear of the unknown, the problem with being in a comfort zone is that you can become stagnant and that leads to lack of ambition and interest. Sometimes you need to break from that comfort zone and venture out into the unknown, let your fear guide you and that will motivate you. Don’t think with your head think with your emotions, don’t think what is right feel what it right.