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Completely Lost

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  • #43859
    reha
    Participant

    Hi Tom

    We’ve all experienced such situations in life and believe you me there is nothing better to do than get up in the mornings and think,” right I’m not going to let life live me, I’M going to live life” and that’s exactly what you do. Wake up with a positive attitude. You sound to me like a young man with his entire life laid ahead of him, LIVE IT. I wish I had the opportunity in life where I was able to fulfil my dreams and ambitions and do mad things, but hey up! not all of us are that lucky. When I feel on a low, I go play badminton with my children or my friends, or go gym. Thankfully, I have amazing neighbours who are also my friends and we share the same interests in hobbies, this makes it a lot easier. Go out there and meet people. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. One relationship didn’t happen, but there’s more to come. Build up your confidence and self esteem, try something new and different and you’ll find the answers you’re looking for. You know! a friend who’s very close to my heart said to me once “if you knew, today was your last day to live, would you live it the way you are now?”. That stuck to my mind since and you know what Tom? You too should take this question on board and ask yourself, if this is the way you want to be.
    Live life, love life, make your life what you want it to be. You need to go out there and find that something to give you the urge to want to pick yourself up and keep yourself up, not knock you down and keep you down. You need to find the strength within you to believe in yourself and that you’re worth more than what you’re feeling.
    I wish you all the best and I know you’ll find the right answers.

    Warm Thoughts
    Reha

    #43865
    Matt
    Participant

    Tom,

    I’m sorry for the difficulty and pain you’re having. I know how unsettling it can be when our thoughts spin us down into feelings of darkness and suffering. Don’t despair, brother, there is always a path to joy, and you’re much closer than you think. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

    Consider for a moment that perhaps the experiences you’ve been through have taught you an amazing lesson. Sure, they’ve been painful, but that pain has made you alert, aware. Can you see how you flip flop from despair to inspiration fairly easily? You read a few words on a website somewhere, and the clouds clear, even for a moment, and you feel some peace? That is wonderful! Consider that you’re experiencing the impermanence of emotions very potently, very awakely. This is wonderful!

    Of course, it fades quickly, as it always does when it is tied to external circumstances. Said differently, because you’re allowing the positive energy of others mold and shape your feelings in the moment, it means that your body responds really well to energy. To go from a place of negative to positive with only a few words and concepts?

    The trick now is only to help you rekindle the inner joy that can remain alight independent of these words, the girl, the friend, or the time away. If you can find a way to create joy-fusion, then the clouds will remain parted. This is waaay easier than you think, but does take consistent practice and an open mind. The great news is that because you’re now fully awake to the painfulness inside you, and have seen the flip flop of impermanence, you’ll naturally move toward creating that! See how simple it is? Your body gets hungry, and you eat. Your body gets emotionally dark, and you enlighten. Grass grows, nature being natural.

    Consider that the nourishment the body needs is self nurturing, and if you’re with me so far, have faith that a huge part of the light you’re seeking arises from a metta meditation practice. Metta is a feeling of warmth that arises in the chest, and as it does, the mind becomes smooth, peaceful, curious, and free from negative thoughts. At first, it may very well be like you’ve seen so far. While you are on the cushion, the warmth will arise, and as you get up, the warmth will fade after a few moments. Don’t worry, that’s normal, usual. But, the next time you sit on the cushion, it will arise more potently, and last longer. After even just a few weeks of practice, it will sustain until some event triggers you. After a few months, you can become like an oak or bamboo reed, either letting the world pass by your thick and joyous heart, or bending around each event like a dancer.

    The path is so beautiful, and so nourishing that if you decide to jump off the cliff and start a metta practice, you’ll quickly see just how beautiful you are, dear brother. Consider searching YouTube for “metta guided meditation” and checking a few out. Sharon Salzburg has a great one, so does Ajahn Brahm, but because you have such a strong sensititivty to energy, you may find any number of them quite striking.

    Namaste, my brother, may you find the love and light you seek.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #43904
    Tom
    Participant

    Hello

    Thank you soooooo much for taking time to reply to this. The simple fact that you guys took time out of your life to help a complete stranger amazes me and makes
    me feel hope in the world. After work today i took a drive and kept driving all over the place. I went to the beach me and my ex used to go too. Just to prove to myself that i can enjoy things we did together alone and that she can’t take them away from me and make think of her when i do them. But i found as i started heading home i felt sad and the closer i got to home the sadder i felt until i cried when i was pulling up the drive. I don’t know maybe i thought i was going to drive right into my solution and it didn’t happen. Anyway i’m going to look into this Metta meditation, not that it’s anything i’d even think to do normally but i want to be more open minded so why not. I just need to get the highs to out way the lows but i feel sometimes i’m holding on to the lows, the memories.

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